Maybe, Maybe
by that70sbaby
Summary: The 80's have been rough so far for Jackie Burkhart, and somehow she can't seem to shake the bad times off. When the ultimate trial finally happens and Jackie is left to pick up the pieces, will Steven Hyde be the one to help her? Still uploading in January 2019!
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note- Hi everyone, this is my first story so I'm super excited to see how this goes. I'll have more chapters up as soon as I can but I'm a highschool student so I do get quite a bit of homework. The story will get less bitsy once I've established the timeline. ALSO, I'm from New Zealand and we occasionally spell words in a different way. For example 'color' and 'colour'. I hope this isn't a problem!**

May 26th, 1984

Jackie's eyes lingered on the photo in that gold frame. Every time she walked past, her eyes were drawn to the trusting and beautiful smiles that shone out. They never thought it would be this way. She never thought it would be this way, but the funny thing about fate is that it always catches you by surprise. When Brooke and Kelso had chosen her and Steven as godparents for their daughter, the last thing in their mind would have been the need for them. They deserved to live happy lives, two beautiful parents, with their beautiful Betsy. But that just wasn't what had been in store for them.

The picture was gorgeous. Brooke was stunning in her wedding dress and Kelso's smile reached across his face in a way that Jackie knew it never did when he was with her. Betsy was nestled between them in a pale pink dress, daisy's woven through her hair. The promise of the future in the picture was strong. A real family. Of course, there would be highs and lows but they would be happy. The low that had ended it had come all too fast.

"Jack Jack?" called Betsy from her room. Jackie tore her eyes from the photo and went to find her goddaughter.

September 6th, 1980

"Jackie, honey! Please just listen to me?"

She shook her head. If she opened her mouth to reply she knew she would scream. How many times could she allow this to happen to herself? She was better than this. A real man with Jackie Burkhart did not need another woman as well. First Michael, then Steven and now Fez, the man who she thought she could finally trust to care for her and only her. What had these 9 months meant to him? The nights in their apartment, drinking until the early morning, just talking on their bed and enjoying eachothers company. The time he packed a picnic and they drove from Point Place to the Olbrich gardens. They had laughed and danced around, then settled in a spot underneath a low hanging tree. Soon they were asleep, and they had stayed that way even as the gardens closed. It had been a magical night. They talked of their love for eachother, about weddings and babies and houses. Jackie had finally felt like everything was falling into place.

And now Fez had pushed it to the side, like every other before him.

He sat there, pleading with his chocolate brown eyes. He seemed sincere in all of his "sorry's" and his "it will never happen again's" but she had seen this before. Jackie had been cheated on enough to know that they only meant it after she found out. Up until then it is all fun and games. "Fez," she started, and she saw his shoulders droop, "You know this is where I draw the line. I just can't put myself through it again. You know what this does to me! How could you?" The angry, hot tears that had been waiting began to slide slowly down her cheeks. He reached to brush them away, like he always did when she was upset but she blocked his touch.

"I can't stay with you. You know that."

"I do."

"I'm going to Eric and Donna's." She said, sobbing now. Her cashmere was getting wet but she didn't care. "I'll come and start getting my things tomorrow."

Her beat up Pinto pealed out of parking spot 'S' and she drove away from the man she loved. It felt just as horrible as she had remembered.

September 13th, 1980

A week later, Jackie wasn't as sad as she had thought she would be. Sure, her chest was a little hollow feeling, and whenever she saw the group pictures up in Eric and Donna's house her heart sunk slightly, but Jackie had started feeling fresh and new. Like she needed the do-over that came with a breakup. She sat in the spare room with her stuff piled around her and imagined it all spread around an apartment of her own. Her savings account showed her hard work at the local designer boutique, staying late to do stock takes, showing up early to clean and organize. Fez had always been there to rub her feet when she came home after a long day, but she didn't need that. She didn't need anyone's money or support. Jackie Burkhart was going to be just fine by herself.

She was making dinner with Donna. Chicken Pinciotti. Jackie had a careful watch on the oven door so the uncooked chicken wouldn't kill everyone, like it had nearly done many a time. "So Jackie, what's your next step?" asked Donna as she began to cut broccoli. Jackie had known this question was coming, how long did a newlywed couple really want another person living in the house? Her answer was well prepared. "I found an apartment after work today, about a 20 minute drive from here, on the edge of Point Place!" It was small, one bedroom and one bathroom, but it was nice and as she had stepped through the door it had felt right. The closet had plenty of room for her clothes and the bathroom had places for her makeup and her hot rollers. It was close to her work, close to her friends, close to the Formans. "Jackie that's great! Oh, how are you planning on decorating? Will we need to get the boys onto painting it pink?"

She shook her head. "I want it minimalistic, I think." Donna laughed at this but Jackie was serious, she really was maturing, not just in her taste of wall colours. "I'm not kidding! I've moved on from pink." She followed her best friend's eyes up and down her body, looking at her pink button down blouse and magenta corduroys. She slapped Donna's arm and then tapped her pink manicured fingernails on the formica countertop. Donna went to open the oven door.

"Don't you dare, Pinciotti!" They both laughed and Jackie felt the hollowness in her chest fill up a bit more.

 **Thank you for reading! Please leave a review or PM me with some tips because I'm completely new to this site and fanfiction writing.**


	2. Maybe, Maybe Chapter 2

**Authors Note - Second chapter! this one is a little longer. It's not my best but I'm trying to establish the timeline so it's a little tricky. The third chapter will have something exciting, Donna and Eric's wedding! I'll have it posted as soon as I can. Please review as this is my first story, anything helps! Also, I forgot my disclaimer on the first chapter. I do not own any of That 70s Show and its characters, I just love them to death!**

 **September 20th, 1980**

The little apartment was really coming together. Eric and Steven had moved all of her stuff in and Donna had helped her arrange and then rearrange everything. Her furniture was all secondhand, things from op-shops, even from the Forman's basement. Nothing was her style but it felt cozy, like a home. She hadn't had one of those for a long time, not a real one. With Fez it had felt almost like they were pretending, actors and actresses. Jackie had done a lot of thinking since she had moved out and she had come to the definite conclusion that she had never loved him. It had felt like it at times, but something had always been off. God, she had wanted to love him, it was what she had needed after Steven, but it wasn't there. Regret was seeping into her slowly. How could she have let it go on that long? It wasn't fair on Fez, well, it hadn't been until he had cheated on her. She still hadn't talked to him, but she knew that he was taking it hard. He always did.

Hyde sat on a black, beat up stool and popped off the lid of a beer. "Jesus Jackie, I can't see you surviving in digs like these. It's just not..expensive enough." She sneered at him.

"Lay off Steven!" With that she gestured up and down her body at her blue jeans and flannel button down. "I'm a new woman."

"Sure thing doll, I'll believe it when I see it."

"Don't call me that!" She said, placing her hands of her hips.

"Call you what?" Steven asked. Honestly, that man. He didn't know how that nickname made her feel every time she heard it. "Doll. Just call me Jackie." A small flash of hurt passed over his face, still shining with sweat from lifting furniture up 4 flights of stairs. It was quickly replaced with zen, but she saw it. "Oh come on, it's not a big deal doll." Jackie whipped her finger up in his face. "It's Jackie. Conversation over." Steven shrugged and went back to his beer, eyes dancing around the brown and orange papered walls.

Jackie stormed off toward her bedroom, cursing herself for being so immature. She was overreacting like everyone expected her to. How was she supposed come off as mature, an adult who had grown up from the spoiled brat that she used to be, when she let stupid stuff like a nickname get under her skin. It was always Steven, somehow anything he said to her made her mad nowadays. He would mention Fez and then look at her like she was food to eat, just waiting for her to break down. She always got angry, not because she missed Fez, she was definitely over that, but because Steven seemed happy that everything had fell apart.

In her room, she began to tear open boxes full of clothes. It was ruining her nails but soon they were all spilling their contents onto the floor. Her legs crumpled and she sat, surrounded by the piles. Jackie loosed a sigh and she began to fold and put away her clothes. It was long work, so many shirts and skirts and pairs of pants. The corner of a soft cotton shirt peeked from the bottom of a pile. A black t-shirt. A Led Zeppelin t-shirt. Without thinking, she grabbed it and brought it to her face. She smelled a hint of her own perfume from all the nights that she had slept in it, but above it all was the smell of smoke and toffee. A little musky, very overpowering. It was the smell of Steven. She shut her eyes and breathed the scent in deeply, one last time, before balling it up and stuffing it in the back of a drawer. "Let it go," She whispered to herself. "Let it all go."

 **October 14th, 1978**

Jackie sat on the couch in the basement, the TV on but not being watched. All she could think about was her Steven, probably on his way back from work right now. Her Steven. How nice was that? It had been a while now but she still couldn't believe how happy she was. She loved when she made him smile, real and genuine. Not many people could get one of those out of him. The first time she had seen it, they were in his room, listening to Zeppelin records. She surprised him by singing along to his favourite song, dancing around the room. He had just watched her. She moved so her skirt flew around and around, bare feet stomping to the beat of the drums. The vibration of the music flowed through her and she just laughed as he perched on his cot and stared. "What are you looking at?" She giggled, and he smiled at her. Jackie's heart had fluttered at that. "I'm looking at you." He replied. "You're beautiful." On her way past him he grabbed her waist and pulled her onto his lap. His hands were rough and calloused, and they scraped on her midriff where her shirt had come untucked from her skirt. She reached up to cup his cheek, where his beard was newly shaved. "I love you Steven." She had said. And for the first time, he said it back. "I love you, Jackie Burkhart." There was that smile again. She touched each corner of his mouth and then kissed him.

Jackie smiled at the memory. An idea was soon in her mind and she was up in a hurry, switching off the television and running to his bedroom. As Steven came through the basement door, he heard the muffled sound of his favourite Zeppelin song coming through the walls, and he smiled.

 **September 20th, 1980**

Her clothes were away, her bed was made with new sheets, her things were all in place. Jackie stepped back and looked at her room. It was small, big enough for a double bed, a dresser and a vanity but not much else. She loved it though. She knew every item, all her own, all in place. Jackie needed a drink, and then to go to bed. It had been an exhausting day and she was ready to have a fresh start tomorrow. She padded out to the kitchen and jumped when she saw Hyde, still on the stool. "Steven? What are you still doing here?" She questioned, noticing the empty beer cans on the floor next to him. He made a weak attempt at a smile and shut his eyes, hanging his head. She rushed to move him to the couch. Steven dug around in his jacket pocket and produced a small brown paper bag. "Wanna break in your new place?" He slurred.

Within minutes, the living room was filled with heady smoke. Jackie coughed and fanned the air near her face. He laughed. "Been a while, huh Jacks?" She nodded and coughed again.

"I honestly can't remember the last time we all got together. We should ask Red and Kitty if we can borrow the basement for an evening. Just for old time's sake." Steven laughed at that.

"We should. I must say it gets a little lonely in the circle. Eric and Donna are far too sensible and married to get into it as often. Kelso's off in Chicago, providing for his daughter with Playboy money and you and Fez were always holed up in your apartment doing god knows what."

Jackie sighed. The drift between them and their friends had been slow but definitely sure.

"I'm not really sure why we never wanted to be together with all of you around. I guess it was just weird because-"

"Because you dated me. And Kelso." Hyde interrupted. She scowled.

"Fine, I'll admit I got around. Leave me alone!" Jackie spat out, then realised she was doing it again. She was letting the old Jackie come out. She dropped the frown and allowed a laugh to burble out. He saw she wasn't mad and began to laugh too. Soon they were both collapsed into each other, screeching with laughter. The reason why was had passed both of them, it didn't matter anymore. The only thing that mattered was the moment, the sickly sweet smelling thing that passed between both of their lips and the shared hilarity with Hyde. It had been so long since they had just talked and laughed together. Jackie realised she had missed it. Missed this. Somehow, through the laughing she had rested her head on his chest. She could smell him again, smoke and sugar. His head slowly lowered to rest on hers and they just sat there as the laughter died away. She scraped her nails against the grain of the denim in his jeans and listened to his heartbeat. Slowly, their breaths synced and danced in harmony. "Thank you for being my friend Steven. I know I've been a bit difficult recently, but I'll get lonely by myself around here all day. It would be nice if I had friends over a lot." She whispered.

"Of course, doll. I'll come over whenever." He replied. Jackie decided to let that 'Doll' slide, but then Steven turned and kissed her. She moved faster than she ever had before, leaping off the couch.

"Steven! Why would you do that? I've just broken up with Fez. I can't even believe you!" She yelled, pink in the face. Her arms flailed through the air and she began to sway on her feet. Damn beer and circle time! "Jackie. Jackie, Jackie! Sit down or you'll fall over." Hyde said, coaxing her to sit again. "How could you kiss me Steven?" Jackie asked through tears that she hadn't even felt coming. "Why would you do that?"

"I thought you wanted me to!" He countered, looking at her defensively. "You were the one laying all over me, talking about how you wanted me to come over more! What was I supposed to think?

She shook her head in disbelief. "You were supposed to think that I wanted to have you back as a friend. It's only been two weeks Steven. Don't be a pig!"

Hyde didn't look hurt by this, just mad. How he used to look at her when she was dating Kelso. With contempt. "You really can never make up your mind, can you Jackie?" Hyde snapped. With that, he stood up, wavering a little himself and then stormed out of her front door. Jackie watched him go. Why couldn't she just have one good thing in her life?


	3. Maybe, Maybe Chapter 3

**Author's Note - Hi everyone! I don't like the start of this chapter too much but I hope you enjoy! Please review etc. xoxo**

 **October 12th, 1980**

Steven was gone. She truly didn't know where, and none of the others knew why. Jackie knew why. Steven had run away and it was. All. Her. Fault. She should have just let him kiss her, he might have forgotten anyway, he was very drunk. They could have just been friends, like she had wanted. She could have stored that kiss in the drawer in her mind that she reserved for Steven. But Jackie was lying to herself. She knew that the kiss had meant something to him, and he obviously hadn't forgotten it. They had searched Point Place. Nobody had seen him. They had even asked Leo, who had replied "Who?" ,so no luck there either. Donna had pointed out that Hyde had done this before. It was true, he had gone to Vegas after they had broken up. He had very nearly ran away to New York with that biker girl while Jackie was still with Kelso. He would be back. But for now, Jackie just missed him. She fed his fish Zeppelin and she kept herself busy by picking up some of his shifts at Grooves. All the money went into an account so she could transfer it to him when he got back. It might have been the most selfless thing that Jackie had ever done and she really didn't know why she was doing it. She could buy some new clothes with it, or maybe get the muffler on her car fixed. It was embarrassing to drive around with all of the noise. Her paychecks from the boutique just barely covered rent, gas and food. It was the poorest she had ever been, the least spare cash she had ever had for random things in the mall that caught her eye. She had started avoiding that place altogether. The guy at the cheese stand that she had kissed once so long ago was still there. She didn't remember his name but he remembered hers and he called out at her whenever he saw her. It sent scared shivers down her spine. He would leer at her as she walked past, eyes forward, mouth set in a purposeful scowl.

She had saved enough to buy a new skirt though, and Brooke was going to take her shopping. Kelso had brought her and Betsy to Point Place for a week long visit. It was really nice actually. They were staying in Donna and Eric's spare room and Jackie came over most evenings. Fez went too, which had been awkward at first but was getting much better once they had sat down and talked about everything. They had even gone to a roller disco event together, which had been more fun than she had anticipated. All of their roller friends were surprised that they weren't together anymore, but they has brushed the comments off and just skated. Jackie was keeping herself as busy as possible to keep Steven off her mind. She wasn't sure if it was working. The Price is Right would come on TV and she would think of that first summer. She would be sitting in Donna and Eric's living room, drinking wine and holding Betsy. Someone would mention his name and she would feel a lump form in her throat. Her glass of wine would go fairly quickly after that. Those evenings at her friend's house, where she was now, meant more to her than they knew. She looked around the room and felt a little less lonely. Donna had truly picked some hideous furniture but it was a nice place to be, especially with precious Betsy and her smiling parents. She had missed Brooke and her never ending knowledge, and Kelso with his dopey grin. It was hard when they didn't live in Point Place . The last time they had been up was the wedding. Jackie sipped her wine and looked at Donna's ring from across the room. What a day that had been.

 **July 28, 1980**

The sun left dappled spots on the grass as it filtered through the big oak tree. The Forman's backyard had transformed in one morning. Rows of white painted seats sat facing a small raised platform that was doubling as the altar. Eric and Donna had both practiced stepping up onto it so there were no unfortunate tripping incidents in the ceremony. Donna, Jackie, Brooke and Laurie sat in Laurie's room, drinking champagne. Beauty paraphernalia was scattered all around the room. Donna sat at the vanity, sighing. "Donna, what's wrong? Is it your hair? I thought so, Let me fix it!" Jackie said, fussing with Donna's hair. It was dyed back to its original red colour and it was resting on her shoulders in shiny curls. "It's not the hair Jackie, leave it alone. It's Eric. What if we're making a mistake?" The three girls groaned.

"Donna, for the last time! My baby brother loves you with all of his dinky heart. He would do anything for you. You are way out of his league but I _definitely_ don't think you're making a mistake." Laurie smiled sweetly as she said this, a perfectly manicured hand resting on her chest. "I'm not sure I believe you Laurie. You're always out to get Eric. Maybe you want him to marry me just so you can ruin his life!" The girls groaned again.

"Donna," Jackie started, "The more you worry about this, the more wrinkles you'll get and then you won't need to worry about making a mistake. Eric will run away screaming when he sees you looking like a crushed up paper bag!" Brooke smacked her forehead with her hand as Donna burst into tears. "Jackie!" Cried Brooke and Laurie in unison.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! You don't look like a paper bag and you never will. Now stop crying or your mascara will smudge!" Jackie said. The bride just kept on sobbing. "Donna stop, or I'll kick you!"

Donna quickly wiped her eyes and took a couple of deep breaths. "Thanks midget, I really don't want a bruise." Jackie nodded and turned Donna on her seat. With more care and focus that anyone had ever seen her use, she began fixing her friend's makeup. Her fingers were feather light as they worked the magic that can only be done by someone with years of practice. Donna's face looked luminescent. Jackie had highlighted the high points of her face and she looked like she was glowing from within. Her eyelids were a subtle gold hue that made her hazel eyes pop and her lips were a dusky rose colour. She looked gorgeous and as she turned back to the mirror all the girls exclaimed. Donna stood up and did a twirl, her mother's dress flowing around her. Jackie felt tears in the corners of her eyes as she watched her friend.

With a bang, Fez entered the room. "Ladies, only 10 minutes until wedding time! And Donna, I can confirm that Eric is still on the premises and he intends to be that way throughout the whole ceremony." Donna nodded, a grateful smile on her mouth. Fez sidled over to Jackie and kissed her cheek, his arm around her waist. "Hey baby, you look beautiful. But is that what you're wearing?" He asked, looking her up and down at her casual outfit. She slapped his arm.

"No, I still need to get changed. So _you_ need to get out." He kissed her cheek again and let her push him out of the door. "I love it when you boss me around." He called as she slammed the door. She groaned as she turned back to the other girls. "He really can be a bit of a creep, can't he?" She asked. "Sometimes it's fine but it can get old pretty fast." Jackie walked to help Brooke zip up her dress then started changing into hers. "Hopefully he grows out of it once we get married" Donna's mouth dropped open.

"You're marrying Fez?" She asked, incredulous. Jackie shrugged.

"I kind of figured we would get married. We've talked about it a couple of times, and I can't see myself finding another person. Third time's the charm right?" Donna looked confused.

"But Jackie, are you happy? I swear I never see you anymore and when I do you always seem quiet and weird." She paused. "Very un-Jackie like." Jackie shrugged, then sighed.

"It's different with Fez. I'm older now, and it's odd being around Michael and Steven. But Donna, don't let me be a party pooper. You're getting married!" They all shrieked and hugged Donna. She started dancing and shaking her butt. "I'm getting married, I'm getting married!" she sang.

"Yes you are," said Fez as he opened the door, "Right now. It's go time ladies!" They all shrieked again and rushed out of the door. Jackie joined Steven at the start of the aisle. As maid of honour and best man they were walking down the aisle together. "Ready to go, doll?" He asked, winking at her. "Hey Hyde, don't 'doll' my lady!" Said Fez, glaring at Hyde. Jackie laughed.

"Fezzy, it's fine. Now go find Laurie."

The walk down the aisle was lovely. Roses lined the rows and the scent tantalized Jackie's senses. Hyde was steady under her arm. He turned and offered a smile to her, free of sunglasses for once. "You really do clean up nice Steven." She whispered under her breath.

"You don't look too bad yourself, doll." He replied as they reached the end of the aisle. His hand quickly squeezed hers and they went to their respective sides of the altar. Jackie smoothed her lilac bridesmaids dress, noticing how similar it really was to her prom dress. It was actually eerie. The rest of the group joined them and the whole wedding party gasped as Donna emerged. Jackie really had done an amazing job with her hair and makeup. She was beaming from ear to ear, looking like a goddess. Jackie could see the tears in Eric's eyes as his future wife began to walk down the aisle. The ceremony went quickly, their vows heartfelt and personal. Jackie wept with happiness as they were declared husband and wife by Pastor Dave and as they kissed. She could swear she saw a tear sparkling in Steven's eye too. _That_ was something that she would definitely be mentioning to him later on.

The ceremony flowed into the reception and the group quickly became slightly tipsy. Jackie shared her honorary dance with Steven. In her peripheral vision, she could see Fez watch with a slightly disdainful expression as Steven placed his hand on the small of her back and pulled her closer to him. "Was that a tear I saw in the ceremony, Mr. I Feel Nothing?" She asked, a playful tone in her voice. "No! No, I had something in my eye." He quickly said, then saw her sceptical expression. "Fine, maybe one tear. But it was because I feel sorry for myself! Now all I'll hear for the rest of my life is how much Eric loves Donna. I can't even imagine how I'm going to get through it!" Jackie laughed.

"Isn't that what you've been hearing for the last, I don't know, 5 years?"

"I guess you're right." She giggled again, feeling the champagne.

"I'm always right. You know that Steven!"

"Yeah, I know" He replied, then he spun her and dipped her so low that she shrieked, his face close to hers. She watched as Fez scowled and walked away from the dance floor.


	4. Maybe, Maybe Chapter 4

**Author's Note - I honestly hate this chapter, it was so hard to write, but I needed to post it. I know it's a little shocking in the middle, but trust me, all will be OK. Also, can someone please tell me in a PM or a review how I can get my stuff beta-d. I have no clue! I own nothing except the character Graham, who you guys will definitely see see more of. As always, thank you for reading, please review and check out a crappy one-shot I just posted!**

 **September 6th, 1980**

Her heart just plain stopped as she walked into the room. She had been expecting to see Fez making himself dinner, probably lacking pants. He would be singing to himself, sipping white wine like he liked to do when she was working late. She would sometimes open the front door to find him passed out in front of Gilligan's Island, surrounded by candy wrappers. Jackie would wake him with a kiss and he would rub her sore feet as they listened to records. Tonight was a Saturday so she always stayed at work to clean up and do stocktake, but today her manager had let her go early. "Take tonight off Jackie. You've worked really hard tonight." Jackie had thanked Vanessa and headed to the grocery store to get a bar of Fez's favourite chocolate as a surprise. She had been working a lot recently, and she knew he really missed her being around the apartment all the time so she was pleased they could spend the evening together.

Jackie had sung Diana Ross songs as she drove home. Her Pinto grumbled along Point Place's roads, passing the yellowing leaves falling off the trees. Jackie loved autumn, the colours were very flattering on her, but mostly she loved the changing leaves. They left the trees and made room for new and fresh green leaves after winter. Something about that made her happy. " _Upside down, boy, you turn me inside out_!" She crooned as she pulled into parking spot 'S'. Her expectations for the evening were dashed as soon as she turned the door handle and found it locked. It was never locked when she was coming home late. A simple mistake, maybe he unlocked it around about the time he expected her. Fez did get a little paranoid sometimes, he spent a lot of time listening to Steven and his conspiracies. She unlocked the door and felt her heart drop as she saw the scene unfolding in her living room. "Fez?" He wasn't wearing pants, that was for sure, but everything else that was happening was beyond what she had expected. His head popped up at the sound of her voice. She repeated his name a couple more times, getting more shrill and breathless with each repetition. "What the hell are you doing?" She yelled. Another head popped up next to his. "Big Rhonda? That's what you're doing?" Jackie said, her voice becoming more strained. "Jackie!" Fez said, a little breathlessly. "Why are you home? Your work lets out in two hours…" She felt tears prick in her eyes.

"I got out early Fez. I wanted to surprise you." She reached into the pocket of her peacoat and pulled out the 'Three Musketeers' chocolate bar, tossing it to him. The wrapper crinkled as it landed on the couch next to him. "Surprise, Fez. I'm glad you had a good day."

Jackie began to sob loudly and stalked into the bathroom. She slammed shut the toilet lid and sat down. Her gulps racked her body and she leaned to rest her head on her knees. Again. Once again, Jackie Burkhart had been let down and pushed into the back of the mind of the person she cared about. A desperate set of knocks landed on the bathroom door. She watched the door handle jiggle. "My peach! Please let me in, I have to talk to you. Rhonda left. Can you unlock the door for me?" Fez pleaded. His voice was muffled but she could hear the tears in his words.

"Get lost you cheating bastard!" She screamed. It burned her throat but she didn't care. "I thought you were better than Michael and Steven. I thought you were the _one_ person that wouldn't cheat on me." Saying those words made her sobs grow until they hurt her chest. Why did she even try with men? All they ever did was let her down. His voice was weak through the door. "I'm sorry."

 **November 13th, 1982**

Jackie had never really feared for her life until now. She had never thought that this would be the way she would die. It was always the plan to live really long, with a rich husband and lots of grandchildren. She was going to have a big house with high ceilings and white floorboards. She was going to wake up each morning to breakfast in bed made for her by her loving husband. It was slipping away though, just like the blood was slipping down her forehead onto the linoleum tiles of the kitchen. Graham had walked out maybe half an hour ago, after pushing her so roughly that she had fallen and hit her head on the corner of the kitchen island. She could tell the gash was deep as soon as she had hit the ground. He had simply sneered at her and stormed out. She had heard the front door slam through the ringing in her ears. Jackie knew that she couldn't stand up, she felt weak enough just lying on the floor. The bleeding wasn't slowing and she had done a first aid course so she could babysit when she had turned 14. That had taught her enough to know that a head wound that hadn't been treated in time and hadn't stopped bleeding after this amount of time was pretty fatal. Nobody was coming to help her, and the puddle of red was growing, so Jackie shut her eyes and let herself slip away.

 **December 31st, 1980**

 _12:57 PM_

Jackie sat at Donna and Eric's island, folding '1981' printed napkins into perfect triangles. A stack of finished ones sat on her right. Eric sat on her left, inhaling potato chips from a plastic bowl. She swatted his hand away. "Enough Eric, they're for the party." He pouted and went back to folding. Jackie found the folding calming. The repetitive motion didn't require much focus, so it left her plenty of headspace to think about the year. She had bagged Fez, then lost him, been kissed by Steven, then she had lost him too. She had moved into her own place and thrown herself into her work at the boutique. She had felt lonelier than she had ever felt in her life. Jackie would not hesitate to say that she was ready for 1980 to be over.

 _4:28 PM_

Kelso and Brooke pulled into the driveway. Kelso had a huge dopey grin on his face. Betsy sat on his lap, fast asleep. Jackie felt her heart melt a little when she saw Betsy's face, calm and peaceful in her sleep. Sometimes, Jackie wished she could go back to being a little girl. Not a worry in the world. She saw little Betsy and she saw the kind of childhood she hadn't had. One with loving parents who couldn't stand being away from her. As the little family poured out of the car, Jackie opened her arms and Kelso handed her a waking Betsy. "Hi, baby girl." Jackie whispered, holding her close.

 _8:39 PM_

The group sat around the island, watching their family and friends mill around. All of the children had been put to bed, and the alcohol was flowing. Jackie felt herself loosening up, tapping her feet to the music that Donna had put on the record player. She intended to get drunk, really drunk, so she could begin to forget her cruddy year. She slung her arm around Brooke's shoulders and took another sip of beer. The night was young! She was going to finish it off with a bang.

 _11:08 PM_

What a bang that had been. The new year hadn't even rolled around yet but she was well and truly partied out. Jackie sat on a bench in the backyard, listening to the party continue inside. She had stumbled out a few minutes prior and had promptly thrown up in a bush after far too many beers, and she was now too embarrassed to return. She had definitely made a fool of herself inside, dancing and singing loudly, hugging everyone she saw. Drunk Jackie's mood was like a roller coaster, and she was on the low point. A wave of tiredness washed over her, so she tilted over and fell asleep on the bench.

 _11:58_

"Jackie? What are you doing?" A familiar voice asked. Her eyes snapped open in a flash.

"Steven?" She questioned, rubbing her eyes wildly. "Where have you been? What are you doing here? Are you ok?" Jackie wobbled as she sat up, taking in Steven for the first time in months. He had grown out his beard again. His shirt was rumpled and his hair was long and out of control. The bags under his eyes looked like bruises, like he hadn't slept in days. Jackie stood up and took a step towards him. Steven's eyes still looked like they did the day he kissed her and she had rejected him, hurt and angry. "Look, Steven. I'm really sor-"

"Don't Jackie. I know. I really shouldn't have kissed you. I was drunk and high and I wasn't thinking straight. Hell, I don't think I actually wanted to kiss you. I mean, can you imagine?"

Jackie recoiled a little. "You didn't? Want to kiss me, I mean?" She asked. He laughed harshly, throwing his head back so she could see the freckle under his jaw, next to his ear.

"God no." He replied. She nodded, stepping back.

"Oh, I've been working some of your shifts at Grooves while you've been away. I'll transfer you the money tomorrow. Happy New Year, Steven."

His mouth dropped open as she stalked past him and out the front gate. Tears dripped down her cheeks. It seemed like all she did was cry these days, and she was sick of it.


	5. Maybe, Maybe Chapter 5

**Author's Note - Hey, a bit shorter of a chapter, sorry, but still some important details in this one! Again, I live in New Zealand so occasionally some words will be spelled differently, like 'favourite' and 'favorite' which pop up a few times in this chapter. please review and enjoy! xox**

 **March 2nd, 1981**

The band was lively and Jackie couldn't help but dance. She swung her plum coloured dress around, enjoying the jingling noises that the bangles on her wrists made. A little fun, that's all she was having, though it was a little sad to be at a wedding with no date. An old friend from her early days at Point Place High School had been married earlier in the day, Arielle McBride. Now officially Arielle Tanner. She had been Jackie's sidekick of sorts in her freshman year. A lisp caused by some serious orthodonture had knocked her down a few pegs on the popularity totem, but Jackie had still let Arielle follow her around. As she danced, she though of how she had pitied the girl for her unfortunate braces and greasy hair, thinking about how she would always be one step ahead. Now Jackie was at the girl's wedding. She was beautiful in her sleek dress, with a stunning smile. Her teeth were now, thank god, perfectly straight. Jackie realised she was envious of her friend. It was _her own_ wedding that she was supposed to be dancing at, not another person's. The thought stopped her short, in the middle of the dance floor. She truly was alone, wasn't she? It was an odd thing to think about. She had gone from boy to boy in her high school years but now the only new men she ever saw were the ones that came into the boutique, looking for gifts for their girlfriends. Jackie decided she needed to leave, to sleep, but only after one more of those delicious bread rolls that just kept appearing on the tables like clockwork.

"Hello, gorgeous." Jackie heard from behind her as she headed to her table. She turned, and there stood a tall man with sleek blonde hair. He smirked at her. "I saw you dancing and I just had to talk to you. Bride or groom?" He asked. She smoothed her dress and stepped back toward him. "I went to high school with Arielle. You are?"

"Oh forgive my bad manners. I'm Graham Tanner, cousin of the groom. You must be Jackie Burkhart." She was puzzled by this but took another step closer, turning on the charm in her eyes. He _was_ cute after all. "And how would you know that, Graham?" Jackie asked, looking at him through her eyelashes. "I've been asking around, you were just too mesmerising on the dance floor. I had to know who you were."He replied. God, he really was laying it on thick, she thought. But he was a man… And he was obviously showing some interest in her, which hadn't happened in a while. "Tell you what, Graham," She said, tasting his name in her mouth like a piece of toffee. "I may not be done on the dance floor. Take me for a spin?" He didn't need much encouraging. Quickly, his hand was holding hers. His fingers were long and thin, a piano player's hands. They were nothing like Steven's. It made her a little uncomfortable, but she brushed the thought away and let Graham lead her onto the dance floor. His other arm went around her waist, holding a little too tightly. She sighed. Maybe just one dance with this guy.

Many, many dances later, Graham was getting her yet another drink. Jackie leaned against a wall and hiccuped quietly. The tight grip on her waist wasn't really bothering her anymore, neither were the long fingers that brushed her hair out of her face as it slipped out of its intricate bun. Sure, the champagne may be helping Graham's case, but he wasn't really a bad guy.

 **April 16th, 1981**

"An excellent choice!" Jackie exclaimed as she packaged up a floral blouse. "This blouse is one of our best sellers, it's flattering on everyone." She slid the shirt over, wrapped up in white gauzy paper. "Thank you!" the customer called as she walked out of the front door. Jackie sighed and went to sit on her stool behind the counter but was interrupted by the sound of the bell that rested on the door. Another customer, demanding different sizes, different patterns. She normally loved her job, but today, Jackie really could not bothered. She plastered her 'customer service' smile on and turned to the entrance, then dropped the expression. It was only Graham. "Hey babe," he said, "I brought you coffee." The takeaway cup that he passed her just might have been the best thing she had ever seen. "You and that coffee are a sight for sore eyes, Graham. It's been the longest day, and I still have," she checked her watch "2 hours and 19 minutes exactly. Ugh!"

"Can you leave early babe? Where is Vanessa? I'm sure she'd understand." Jackie shook her head. Vanessa hadn't shown up for work the last few days. Jackie had searched the store for the note that Vanessa normally left when she was going on a surprise vacation with whatever new boyfriend she was with at the time. It happened more often than it should, but Jackie was past caring. "A no show for now." She replied. Graham groaned and grabbed her hand.

"I really wanted to talk to you about something. It's important." He said, a slight whine to his voice. "Well shoot, there's no customers right now."She replied, scanning the street outside the boutique. It looked empty enough. Graham circled around the counter, lifting Jackie's arm over the register so he wouldn't need to let go of her hand. "I want you to move in with me, into my house. I know it hasn't been long but I really think it would work well and you mean so much to me and we could redecorate it however you want, I really don't mind and we can just be together more because I feel like you're always so busy and-" Jackie laughed and put her finger up to his mouth, shushing him. "Graham, slow down! I would love to move in with you." He visibly relaxed, his shoulders sinking. Jackie reached up to stroke his cheek, and he bent down to kiss her. "It'll be fun!" She giggled, and stood up onto her tiptoes to kiss him once more, then groaned as she heard the telltale tinkling sound of the bell on the door. "Time for my new roomie to go, I think. I'll come over tonight and we can talk more." Graham smiled sweetly as he headed out the door, while Jackie greeted the customer. She had seen this coming, he was always asking her to stay at his house overnight, and she had started leaving some of her things there. Jackie couldn't seem to get the grin off of her face, and when the customer asked for another size, Jackie didn't even mind.

 **August 9th, 1978**

Jackie couldn't quite believe it. The bouquet of tulips in her hands were fragrant, and so beautiful. She sat in her bedroom just staring at them, not knowing quite what to do. A piece of card scraped her finger as she moved to put them down. It was small and white with a delicate gold border. "Jackie, you said once that tulips were your favourite flower. I don't know if that's still true. Whatever. I just wanted to get you something nice." The flowers really could have been from anyone, she _did_ get plenty of love notes and things like that, but then she read that 'whatever' and she knew who they were from. Her heart fluttered just a little, okay, maybe a lot. Steven had wanted to get her something nice. But when had she said anything about tulips? They were her favourite flower but she couldn't remember the last time she had mentioned it. It must have been years ago. Oh, she could remember sitting in the basement, testing Michael on her favourite things. But that was years ago, in 76'! Steven really had been listening all that time. Jackie recalled him sitting on his chair and blowing raspberry everytime she asked a question. She didn't think he had listened, let alone cared. The thought filled her with a warm, sweet feeling. She was up in a second, running down the stairs and outside to her Daddy's Lincoln. Jackie just _had_ to find Steven.

She nearly tripped as she hurtled down the stairs to the basement, holding the bouquet. "Steven!" She called, "I got the-" Jackie stopped short as all of her friends turned to the doorway that she had just burst through. "Go the what?" Asked Donna, looking at her breathless friend.

"Uh, I got the uh, um, the uh, the film?" Jackie answered slowly, pleading Steven with her eyes.

"Sweet! Circle time, baby." Crooned Kelso. Jackie shook her head.

"Not right now, Michael." He let out an indignant grunt and turned back to The Brady Bunch.

Jackie slumped on the couch and sniffed her tulips, watching Hyde as she did it. "Donna, aren't these flowers beautiful?" She asked, showing them off. Donna nodded.

"Yeah they are. Another secret admirer I'm guessing? Is there a note?" Donna started reaching for the flowers and Jackie jerked them away. "No touching Bigfoot, their mine!" She cried. In her peripheral vision, she could see Steven's eyes widen with panic, then relax as she slyly ripped off the tag and put it in her pocket.

Slowly, the gang dispersed and left Jackie and Steven alone in the basement. She got up to sit on his lap. "Thank you for the flowers Steven. I love them so much."

"That's okay doll, but you've gotta be more careful. You nearly got us caught!" She giggled.

"I know, but i just wanted to see you and, you know, thank you." Jackie kissed him softly, and then rested her head on his shoulder. "Thank you." She whispered again, under her breath. He wrapped his arm tighter around her waist and they just sat there in the quiet, the smell of tulips permeating the room. Jackie knew she was falling in love with Steven Hyde.


	6. Maybe, Maybe Chapter 6

**Author's Note - A short chapter today, I'm sorry! Also, I have had a couple of reviews from people who aren't happy with how much of a hard time Jackie is having. I knowwww, I'm being a little mean, and things aren't going to get better for a while yet, but trust me, they will. I threw in a little cute and vintage J/H so make up for it. xox**

 **July 15th, 1981**

Jackie had a feeling in the pit of her stomach, like something wasn't quite right. She hadn't felt that way for the longest time, she had actually been deliriously happy since she had been with Graham. But as she stood in front of the mirror in their bedroom she just felt weird. She turned, and lifted the corner of her shirt up. Her waist looked shadowy, with long finger-like shapes on it. She touched one lightly. It hurt. Jackie twisted a little more to get a better look at the bruises. It was odd, because she just couldn't think of where they could be from. Sighing, she tucked her shirt back into her jeans and went back to make the bed. Graham always managed to twist the sheets up into a ball every night. That man could never lie still. He had been at work all day, and she had lolled around at home. It was one of her few days off from work at the boutique, so she had invited over Fez. It had long since stopped being awkward to be around him. The hurt was far back in her mind and they had reverted to their original state of laughing. He would listen to her groan about how messy Graham was and she would feed him everything in the pantry that had sugar in it. It was comforting to have him as a friend. The rest of the gang had pulled away from her since she had started dating Graham. Donna claimed that he gave her the creeps, and Steven mocked him with every chance he got. Fez was the only one who didn't seem to scorn the man that had started to mean so much to Jackie. He had left a few minutes earlier, and the big airy house felt empty with only Jackie. Sometimes she felt eaten up by all the walls and doors and windows. She would dream about the orange curtains swallowing her up, and Graham finding her disintegrated in the carpet, leaving it all dusty. The carpets in the house were always like that, so she vacuumed them almost every day. It was wearing it out, sure, but Jackie couldn't stand the feeling of the small fragments pressing into the soles of her feet. How many people had been swallowed up by this house? How many people were pressing into the soles of her feet? How many people had she vacuumed up? Jackie shook her head, stopping her train of thought. It was getting all a little too crazy.

She felt the vibration through the floorboards of the front door opening as Graham arrived home. "Darling?" He called out. "Where are you?"

"I'm in the bedroom." She whispered back, brushing a fingertip over the bruises. "I'm in the bedroom!" She called again, louder this time. Her hand floated past her waist and rested by her side. Graham's steps sounded up the stairwell and he quietly walked through the bedroom door.

"How was your day, my sweetheart?" He asked, reaching for her waist. Jackie's breath left her as his hand gripped the bruises on her side. She could tell that his long, slender fingers were perfectly fitted to the shadows. "It was fine." Jackie murmured. The feeling in her gut deepened and she tried to step out of his hold but those fingers just kept holding.

 **August 23rd, 1981**

"I'm pregnant!" Donna cried, opening her arms wide. Jackie jumped up and rushed to hug her friend, a flow of happiness rolling through her body. It was a welcome feeling for sure. "Donna! Congratulations! How far along are you?" She questioned. The words came out of her in rapid fire, like they always used to. The feeling was almost new. It had been so long since she had talked like the old Jackie. All she felt like doing was whispering nowadays, little things. "12 whole weeks!" Donna exclaimed. Her excitement was evident on her face, which was glowing with what looked like infinite happiness. Jackie felt a pang of jealousy. She wasn't sure what she envied but she could feel that wanting. Nevertheless, she painted a huge smile on her face and felt it turn genuine as she asked "Have you told Eric yet?" Donna shook her head, a look of glee on her face. "He's home in a few minutes. I'm going to tell him when he arrives! Ugh, I just can't wait to see how he reacts." Jackie giggled at the thought.

"Knowing Eric, he'll probably cry or throw up or pass out. Maybe all three. From happiness of course!" The girls both laughed at that.

"I'll get a bucket ready, do you think?" Donna joked. This cracked them up even more and they were still collapsed on the counter when Eric walked in, a few minutes later. "What gives ladies? What are you laughing about?" He gasped suddenly, his eyes going wide. "Donna, please tell me you didn't tell Jackie about, you know, the thing I did the other day." His wife snorted.

"Of course not, Eric. But I do have some good news for you. I think you'll be really excited."

He gasped. "Are you finally letting me get a puppy? Ca we name him Frank?"

"No Eric, not a puppy. We're getting something even better than that. I'm pregnant." At this, Eric began to grin and then laugh, then bounce on his heels slightly. All of a sudden he was jumping in the air and fist pumping. "Alright! I'm having a baby! Woohoo!" He pulled Donna in for a hug, holding her tight, the both of them smiling like they would never stop. Jackie turned away a little, letting them have their personal moment together. Another baby, to play with Betsy! Jackie smiled then, thinking about babies. She loved them, their little hands and ears and noses. Everything in miniature. There was something about babies that Jackie was in awe of. She realised she wanted one. Jackie wanted to have a baby.

 **November 27th, 1978**

"Remind me again who's baby this is?" Steven asked, as he watched Jackie sit with the infant in her arms. "I already told you, he's my cousin Mandy's. I'm looking after him for the day." She leaning in, cooing at the child. "How are you, Matthew? You are very precious, aren't you?" Jackie asked the baby. Steven groaned from his chair. "You sound ridiculous doing that baby speak. Shouldn't babies learn to talk like regular people?" He said. Jackie lifted Matthew's tiny frame onto her chest and stood up. "Look Steven, maybe you need to hold him for a little. How about you take care of him down here for a minute while I go up and get a cup of coffee from Mrs. Forman." She placed the little baby on Steven's chest. His head started to wobble slightly, but Steven's hand quickly supported it. He ran his finger through the baby's hair. "It really is quite soft isn't it?" He asked. Jackie nodded and grinned as she walked up the stairs.

She didn't actually get a cup of coffee. She stood on the landing and listened to her boyfriend murmur to Matthew. Jackie couldn't tell exactly what he was saying, but it sounded tender. For a few minutes she just listened, then headed back down to the basement. Steven had moved to sit on the couch and she settled down next to him, snuggling into his shoulder. Matthew slept soundly in the crook of his arms and when Jackie touched her finger to his tiny hand, he grabbed it. They both stared in wonder at the infant. His breathing was peaceful, and his eyelids fluttered. We could have this, Jackie thought. Steven and I could really have this for ourselves. She kissed his cheek, a little stubble coming through, and scooted closer to his side. "He's kind of perfect isn't he?" She said quietly. Steven nodded, careful not to wake Matthew. Jackie shut her eyes, thinking she might just fall asleep too. As she inhaled, she smelled that sugary smoke on his t-shirt and sighed. She _would_ have this.


	7. Maybe, Maybe Chapter 7

**Author's Note - Another short chapter sorry, I was busy today. Also, this chapter is all set in 1981 but I did a little scene from it in an earlier chapter but the date on that says 1982. I'm sorry for any confusion. Also, I promise I don't hate Jackie. I'm just going where the story takes me at the moment but I do have better things coming. Please review as always. xoxoxoxoxox**

 **November 13th, 1981**

The arches of Jackie's feet ached as she walked down the aisles of Sears. It felt like she had done nothing but clean recently, always running around with a mop and a duster. She didn't know why, but every time that Graham left the house, she was on her feet and scrubbing away any trace of baby clothes she looked at were tiny, and she marveled at the small dresses and shoes. She was looking for clothes for Donna and Eric's baby. Donna wasn't even that far along but Jackie just couldn't wait to pick out outfits. She held up a set of sleepsuits embroidered with humpback whales and sighed, just imagining a little baby wearing them. For some reason, she hadn't even breached the subject with Graham. Maybe because deep down she didn't want children, but that wasn't right. Maybe it was because Graham seemed content with his Jackie, all to himself. She had seen her friends maybe twice in the last month. Graham was always around her when he was home and while he was at work he would call every hour to check she was there. Jackie had needed to get out of that house today though. She had felt ill as she walked the halls, peeking into the rooms, expecting someone to jump out at her. That was the odd thing about 589 Carter Bend, unlike any other place she had lived. Jackie never felt alone in there, while feeling desperately lonely at the same time. She actually missed interacting with customers at the boutique, but Graham had convinced her to quit. "I make enough." He had said. "There is no need for you to work." She had nodded, not actually saying anything, but she had given her two weeks notice and then walked out of the door for the last time about a month ago.

So now all she did was clean the house, a careful ear out for the ringing of the phone. Graham got mad if she didn't answer quick enough. He said it worried him, how did he know where she was, what she was doing? "I never leave, Graham, I'm always home." She would say but he would just look at her with such disappointment that she always ended up crying and apologising. Jackie knew she was lucky to have a man who worried so much about her, took so much care of her. She knew this, so she rubbed vitamin K cream on the bruises that still shadowed her waist and she rushed to answer the phone and she cleaned up after him. She was taking care of him too. Yes, that's what she was doing. But she _had_ to move. That house just made her feel wrong. So she had caught a bus to the stores and here she was, smoothing the fabric of the sleepsuits under her fingers. Jackie draped them over her arm and walked slowly to the counter, savouring the fresh air that blasted from the air conditioners. "That will be $10.99.", said the saleswoman in a bored tone. Jackie opened her wallet. It was empty. She felt the pockets of her blazer. Where was that twenty dollar bill that she had kept in her wallet since her last payday? "Huh.", she said. "I think that I've left my money at home. Sorry for the trouble." Jackie left the suits on the counter and walked out of the turning door. As she hugged herself against the autumn chill that blew past the bus stop, she puzzled over her empty wallet. Graham must have needed it, she reasoned. But he would have told her. He should have. The more she thought about it, the angrier she felt. He shouldn't have told her, he should have _asked_ her.

When she opened the gate, her heart sunk as she saw Graham's car. He wasn't supposed to be home yet. A movement caught her eye, the opening then rapid closing of the curtains in the front room. The front door cracked open slowly, almost as slowly as she walked up the path. Graham loomed over her as she went up the stairs. "You have a lot of explaining to do." He murmured out of the corner of his mouth. For the first time in what felt like forever, she felt a pool of surging hot anger growing inside her. "I don't know what you mean." she replied. Her voice was slightly defiant and it made her shiver a little bit. "You didn't answer my call. I came home as soon as the phone stopped ringing. Do you know how scared I was when you weren't here?"

The pool grew at the condescending tone he used. Like he was talking to a child. "You do not need to know of my whereabouts every second of my life Graham. I went shopping. I'm allowed to." She said, brushing past him as she walked through the door.

"I never told you that you were allowed to just leave, Jackie. We have a routine, you can't just break it." Graham said, his voice getting slightly louder. He shut the front door behind the both of them with a slam. Jackie's mouth dropped open with shock, then closed into a sharp line as she realised what he meant. The old Jackie would never stand for this. The new one wasn't going to either. "How dare you Graham! I am not a child, you have no right to tell me what to do! I will go wherever I damn please, whenever I damn please and you will not open you mouth once about it! You hear me? And also, I want the money that you took from my wallet back. I know you don't need it, I know you joined our accounts together, without asking me. You're a control freak!" Jackie was panting and yelling, pointing at him with a finger that wasn't manicured, because Graham didn't like nail polish. His face had gone a spectacular shade of red and he took a menacing step towards her. It was in that moment that she realised how much bigger than her he was. He stood a solid foot over her, and he was looking at her like she was a piece of junk that he had found on the bottom of his shoe. "Jackie, how dare you speak to me that way in my own home." She shook her head with disgust.

"I won't need to for much longer. I'm leaving. I've needed to this whole time, but I just haven't seen it. We're done Graham." She replied. He looked like he was reaching up to touch her face for a moment, but then his arm doubled back and there was a sharp pain on her face. Jackie crumpled to the floor, hitting her head on the way down. The last thing she heard before she lost consciousness was Graham's whisper. "Oh no, we aren't done my darling." Her bruises screamed as he gave her ribs a short kick and walked away slowly.

"Jackie, wake up please! Jackie!" A voice was muttering, or were they yelling? She couldn't tell. She also couldn't tell who it was, but she knew she recognised the voice. "Graham?" She breathed. "That bastard is never coming anywhere near you again." The voice said, louder this time. She felt a pressure under her knees and on her back as she was lifted off the ground. "I'm taking you to the hospital, okay?" Jackie rubbed her eyes and lifted her fingertips up the fuzzy figure above her. "Who are you?" She asked. Under her fingertips, she felt a wash of rough stubble on the person's face. "It's Steven. I've got you now, you're going to be okay." Jackie sighed. Her vision was darkening again. "Steven…" She whispered under her breath and she drifted away once more.


	8. Maybe, Maybe Chapter 8

**Author's Note - A short one, again! Giving you another little taste of what is to come. I"ll continue the thanksgiving part in the next chapter. I took a couple days off because I was getting some writer's block but I think I'm getting back on track now. Please read my little one-shot called 'She Would Say'. It's some cute J/H and it takes like, 2 minutes to read. Please review both of my stories, I'm a new writer so they really help me, and thank you for reading! xoxoxo, that70sbaby**

 **November 15th, 1981**

Jackie had looked at the same stain in the roof for far too long. If she tilted her head to the right, it almost looked like a rabbit. On the left side, she squinted her eyes and saw a face. It was a face that she never wanted to see again. Her mind coloured in those lines and she saw that straw-blonde hair and the doting face. Graham had hard eyes, like rock candy. Even when he was talking to her in sweet rhymes, that dark green crystal never softened. Jackie had only realise that now. She lay in bed and thought about the husk of a person that she had become. The robot-esque Jackie that she had been was not her fault though, that much she knew. With all the reflection time that she had had, she had worked through all the thoughts that came through the floodgates. Boom. She was slowly but surely losing her friends. She had been constantly terrified in the presence of the person that she was supposed to feel comfortable with. She had trusted Graham, who had then exploited the weakness that she still carried around after years of hurt. She had become the hollow version of herself, but as soon as she had walked through that door she had become full again. Full of rage and bitter disappointment and sadness and pure Jackie Burkhart. It felt like coming home. Jackie tilted her head to the left and stuck her tongue out at the face that watched her. "Screw you!" She screamed, louder than she had meant to do. The door cracked open. "Jackie?" Steven asked. "What's wrong?"

Jackie blushed. "Oh, nothing's wrong. I was just...angry, I guess." He nodded and his mouth set into a scowl. "You don't even know how much I want to get my hands into that guy. I swear I'll kill him if you want me too." Jackie laughed softly then saw his face and stopped. He looked like he meant it. "That's fine Steven, I think Donna has that under control. And if she doesn't, well, I have my ways of ruining people's lives." Normally a comment like that would make Steven crack a smile. His mouth stayed thin, but she saw the small wobble of his bottom lip that told her when he was upset. "Sit Steven." Jackie said. He walked over, boots clicking the floor, the boots she had brought him. As he sat on the chair at her bedside, she reached out and took his hand. Her heart stopped as he squeezed hers gently. "I'm okay Steven. I'm out of here tomorrow. Ms. Forman has your old room ready for me to stay there. I'm fine." He nodded but his lip was still wobbling slightly. "I just keep thinking about what might have happened." He started. "You know, if I hadn't found you. And I still don't know why I decided to go. Something just didn't feel right, if you get what I mean. But then you were there and I thought you were going to die and I should have warned you that I had a bad feeling about that guy and then maybe none of this would have happened." He exhaled sharply and lowered his head.

"Shhh, Steven. There wasn't anything you could have done. Nothing that you could have said would have stopped me from dating Graham. You know that I don't let anyone tell me what to do!" He huffed a small laugh and squeezed her hand again.

"Yeah, I know doll." She squeezed back and sighed, resting her head to the right.

"Am I going crazy or does that look like a rabbit, even a little. Up on the ceiling." She pointed, with her newly painted fingernail. Steven tilted his head and laughed. "Definitely going crazy, Jacks. That looks like Led Zeppelin." They both laughed softly and Jackie felt herself falling back to sleep. Steven stayed with her, and she noticed with a little satisfaction, that he never let go of her hand.

 **May 26th, 1984**

"Yeah Betsy?" Jackie replied, walking into Betsy's room. The little girl sat on the floor, surrounded by Barbies. She was wearing little maroon dungarees and a white blouse, and her hair was in little braids. She looked more and more like Brooke with each passing day, but what hurt Jackie the most was when her goddaughter smiled. It was wide and gleeful, just like her father. "When do Donna and Eric get here?" She asked, her little mouth having trouble forming the 'r' in Eric. "Any minute now, Bets. It'll be a real party huh."

 **November 26th, 1981**

Jackie had _not_ slept well. In fact, she felt like the walking dead. There had been too many sleepless nights lately, tiptoeing quietly around the Forman house, checking all the locks and windows. She knew that she was safe, but a niggling voice in the back of her mind kept telling her otherwise. The doors are wide open. Graham is just around the corner. He is going to take you back to that house and this time you won't get found. Jackie would shake her head, trying to remove the thoughts like water off a duck's back. Sometimes it wouldn't work though, and she would find herself watching late night TV. She had found an old sweater of Steven's, and she would wear it every night. Things were different now. They were friends, close friends and he was the only person she felt completely comfortable around. Everyone was cautious to talk to her, like she was a china doll. Jackie didn't blame them. One push, and she knew she would be tumbling off the shelf to a cracked heap on the ground. But today was thanksgiving, and she wasn't going to let the ghost of Graham stick with her like a shadow today. She got out of Steven's old cot and looked around the room. It was different now, more empty, less like his, but it still smelled of smoke and sugar. Her clothes were smelling like him now, her hair too. It was nice, like he was always taking care of her. Neither of them could fathom why or how Steven had known to come and find her, but she thanked God every day that he did. She had a scar on her temple now, red enough that she couldn't cover it up with makeup. It made her cry to look at sometimes. But today she looked in the mirror of Steven's bathroom and smiled. It was always going to be there, so she just needed to get used to it. Might as well start now. "I'm still beautiful." She said slowly to her reflection. She tied up her hair into a simple knot, put on some mascara and got changed into jeans and a brown blouse. "I am still beautiful." She repeated, then she nodded and walked upstairs.

It was only 10 am but the kitchen was bustling like a train station. Casserole dishes and plates of veggies were on every available surface. Mrs. Forman stood over the stove, stirring like a maniac. "Jackie! Thank god, I need you to check on the pie. Is it burnt? Do you know what a burnt pie even looks like? How about you just stir this sauce." Ms. Forman was talking a mile a minute, with sweat dripping down her face in torrents. "I'll just stir, Mrs. Forman." Kitty nodded and handed Jackie the wooden spoon. "And how are you doing on this fine, Thanksgiving morning Jackie?" Mrs. Forman was tentative with her question, feeling Jackie out.

"I'm fine thanks. My head feels much better now." Jackie replied.

"Well honey, I'm glad you're staying here. None of us liked that nasty man!" She cried.

Jackie laughed. "I know. But I'm done with him now, for real!" And she knew she wasn't lying to herself with this one.


	9. Maybe, Maybe Chapter 9

**Author's Note - This was a quick write but I think it's quite cute. I'm not sure when I'll be able to upload next because I'm busy for the next week or so but I'll try and get a chapter up. Please review, it helps me so much and really makes me happy. Also read my one shot called 'She Would Say'. It's a short piece of fluff about J/H but from a different perspective. xoxoxo, that70sbaby**

 **November** **26th, 1981**

The table legs were creaking at the weight of all of the food. Mrs. Forman had done nothing but cook all day, and now, at 5:00 pm, there was not a spare inch of space to be seen. Jackie sat in the living room with Donna and Eric. They were snuggling and kissing on the couch, and every time Jackie turned her head and saw them she felt a stab in her gut. She really didn't know why though. She didn't miss Graham or anything like that, and she _definitely_ wasn't jealous about Eric, that's for sure but watching them together, his hand on her pregnant stomach, the love in their eyes as they sat and whispered under their breath to each other. Donna's wedding ring sparkled on her hand as she walked her fingers over her stomach. Jackie turned away again, sighing quietly. Maybe jealous, not of her friends, just their life. Jackie rested her own hand on her flat stomach, no sparkling ring catching her eye then got up, heading to the dining room again.

She scooped out a dollop of mashed potato with her fingertip and went to suck it off but a hand slapped her away. "Aye!" Said Fez, who was joining them for Thanksgiving dinner too. "You must wait until we have all said what we are thankful for before eating. Or Charlie Brown will rise from the pumpkin patch and your wishes won't come true." His sweet face was earnest. Jackie giggled, and it felt nice. "You're getting your holidays mixed up a little there Fez." She replied. Fez looked downtrodden. "For so long I have been in America, but I still can't get these things right!" He cried, throwing his hands in the air. "How about this," She said. "I'm thankful for mashed potato." And then, before Fez could stop her, she ate the potato. "Hopefully Charlie Brown will stay in his pumpkin patch!" Jackie laughed.

"Yeah, ok. But what did you wish for?" He asked. Her laughs ceased quickly, and she went quiet. "I wish that I could get married and have babies and have the life that I always wanted. I wish that I could start 1981 all over again and be better. I wish that I hadn't met Graham. I wish for a lot of things, Fez. Things that mashed potato can't give me, unfortunately." Jackie's breath came out of her in a rush, and she felt her face crumple. "I would eat that entire bowl if I could get my wishes, Fez." She said, and then began to cry for the first time in the weeks since everything had gone to hell. The realisation hit that she had been holding in those hot, angry tears for too long, and now that they had started they were showing no signs of stopping. Her skin burned and crawled over her bones, and she squirmed, her sobs getting louder and louder. "Oh goodness Jackie, are you okay? Sit down, quick." Her legs collapsed and she fell onto the closest chair. "Can you get me Steven please?" Jackie gasped between sobs, her shoulder blades turning in on her chest. Fez wiped away her tears like he always used to do and nodded, a look of concern stuck on his face. He walked quickly out of the dining room and left Jackie overwhelmed by her sudden wave of emotion. She couldn't breath regularly, flashes of the huge empty house and the carnivorous curtains eating her alive. Jackie didn't know how many minutes she sat waiting for Steven, but it was long enough to drive her insane.

"Jackie, talk to me okay? What's up?" Steven demanded, stalking into the dining room. "Why is nobody in here with you?" She shrugged, and wiped away her tears. They were slowing now, but she thought that she would never really run out of tears to cry. "They're all in the living room. I don't know Steven, I just started crying and then I couldn't stop. I haven't cried since it all happened and then I started talking with Fez about wishes or whatever and they just started coming." She sighed with relief as he sat next to her and pulled her into his arms.

"What do you mean wishes doll?" He asked, stroking her hair as she leaned on his shoulder.

"Wishes like, what I want to do and what I wish that I could have done so that none of this stuff would have happened and I could be happy. I want to marry someone who loves me and lets me do things and wants to have kids with me. I want to start this year all over again so I wouldn't make such a freakin' mess of it." She sighed, and wiped away the last traces of her sobs from her cheeks. "Now I don't know what I'll do. Graham has all of my savings in his accounts. I quit my job at the boutique. I'm living with Mr. and Mrs. Forman. Everything's gone to crap and I don't know how I'll fix it." Jackie said, slouching more.

"You know we would all do whatever it takes so that everything works out, right? The whole gang just wants you to be happy. We actually have a surprise for you. It should arrive in," He craned his neck to see the clock on the wall, "About half an hour. And we'll work it all out doll, I promise you." Jackie smiled a little, and turned to Steven.

"You know Steven, this has all made you a little soft, hasn't it? I don't think you've ever been so nice to me." She said. He scowled and took his arm from around her shoulders and she instantly felt colder. "I'm not soft." he growled. "I'm just looking out for my friend." Jackie picked up his arm and put it around her shoulders again. "That's all I need Steven. I'm thankful for that too. Not just mashed potato."

"Mashed potato? What do you mean, mashed potato?"

"Nothing." She laughed and she stood up. "I'm going to go and fix my makeup. Now, what is this surprise you speak of?"

"If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise."

Jackie stood in Steven's old bathroom, splashing cold water on her face. She took a deep breath, then another one. Crying always felt good once it was over. Her steps were lighter and more fluid. She felt like she had lost weight too. The black powder that had settled in her veins and dried up her blood, leaving her numb, had been washed away. Jackie reapplied her makeup and walked up the stairs, a new confidence around her. She was still beautiful. But not just that, she was strong. For too long she had forgot that. Not anymore. She was thankful for that too.

She soon as she stepped foot in the living room, the front door burst open and there stood Brooke, Kelso and Betsy. Their noses were pink from the cold that swirled around Wisconsin, but their smiles were wide. "Surprise!" Kelso hollered, "Betsy, can you say surprise?"

"Surprise." The little girl whispered, taking in all of the people watching her. Everyone was there, Mr. and Mrs. Forman, Bob with Joanne, Laurie, Fez, Donna and Eric, Steven, Jackie and now Kelso with his family. Jackie felt her heart fill up as she ran to hug them. Kelso wrapped her up in a bear hug, which was quickly followed by a warm hug from Brooke and finally, Jackie leaned over to pick up Betsy. "Goodness gracious, you sure have gotten big!" She exclaimed, spinning her goddaughter in a circle. "Do you remember me? It's Auntie Jackie, Jack Jack. I've missed you soooo much!" Betsy burbled a laugh.

"Hand her over Jackie!" Said Mrs. Forman. "I haven't seen my little Betsy is so very long." Betsy was dragged out Jackie's hands and passed around, even though she wasn't a baby anymore, and Jackie was pulled into the den by Kelso and Brooke. "Eric told us what happened over the phone," Said Brooke, "And we just wanted to tell you that we have a spare room in Chicago and if you ever feel like you need a fresh start away from Point Place , you can come and stay with us." Brooke's smile was genuine, and she reached out to squeeze Jackie's hand. She felt appreciative tears coming to her eyes. No more crying today, no way. "Yeah," said Kelso, grinning wide, "You could babysit so Brooke and I can go out on more hot dates. Maybe I'll knock her up at a new concert. Who knows?" Brooke smacked his arm, and with her movement, Jackie saw a sparkle. "Hold on Brooke! Let me see your hand! Right now!" Jackie cried. "Is this an enga-" She was cut off by Kelso's hand over her mouth.

"Don't say a word. We're going to tell everyone at dinner. And just remember that the option is there if you ever want it." Brooke whispered under her breath.

"Kids, dinner time!" Kitty called from the dining room in a sing-songy voice and a flood of people headed toward the food, squeezing onto the collection of little tables that Kitty had set up so everyone could eat together. People were talking loudly, bustling around. Laurie was talking to Donna's baby bump, Red and Bob were laughing together, Fez played with Betsy. Everyone was getting along. "Load your plates up kids, there's plenty!" Cried Kitty, followed by her cackling laugh that you could place as hers from a mile away. Jackie filled her plate high, and basked in the warm light and sound of the dining room filled with the people she loved. "I never knew you were such a fan of mashed potato Jackie. I would have made more of you had told me!" Said Mrs. Forman. Jackie laughed and sat down next to Steven. "Before we eat, let's all say what we're thankful for. I'll start. I'm thankful that I can see my daughter Laurie. It has been a long time honey. Where have you been?" Everyone laughed.

"I'm thankful for Peach Schnapps!" Giggled Laurie.

"I'm thankful for lollipops and tootsie rolls." Said Fez.

"I'm thankful for my hot baby mama!" Called Kelso, blowing Brooke a kiss. She sighed.

"I'm thankful for Kelso and Betsy." Said Brooke.

"We're thankful for our baby." Said Eric and Donna.

"I'm thankful for beer." Said Red.

"Same." Said Bob and Joanne in unison. They leaned into each other, goofy smiles on their faces. "I'm thankful for, um, Grooves." Steven said, a scowl on his face.

"I'm thankful for all of you. You guys have been the best." Said Jackie, and as she looked around at all of the people she loved and their smiling faces, she felt happy again.


	10. Maybe, Maybe Chapter 10

**Author's Note - Short one today, I'm having a bit of writers block to be honest! Thanks for all of the reviews and reads of my other stories. Keep them coming! xoxox, that70sbaby**

 **December 17th, 1981**

The counter was cool against Jackie's fingertips as she brushed away the thin film of dust. The boutique was empty. Packages sat in piles at the back door. It was a wonder they hadn't been stolen. The mannequins cast shadows on the hardwood floor and their legs were long in the afternoon sun. Vanessa had skipped work it seemed. For a long time. Thankfully, Jackie still had her key and she had let herself in, smelling the must in the air. She opened all of the windows and aired the shop out, then started unpacking the boxes and hanging the garments up. Soon, she was rearranging shelves and colour coordinating blouses. Captain and Tennille played, Jackie shaking her hips slightly as she swept and mopped and wiped windows and organised the till. If Vanessa didn't want to run the Boutique, Jackie would do her best. The sign outside reading 'Point Place Fashions' was dull. "Huh." She said under her breath. "Jackie's?"

"That would be the most Jackie thing you have ever done." She heard. Jackie whipped around and saw Steven standing there. "How did you get in here? The doors are locked." Steven raised his eyebrows. "A lock never stopped me before did it? I was driving past and I saw you in here, and I heard your craptastic music coming through the windows." He scraped his boot across the newly clean floor. "Gonna start this place up again?"

"I thought so. I think Vanessa split, and it's just sitting here. What do you think of the name 'Jackie's'" She put her hands on her hips and tilted her head to the side.

"I wouldn't put it past you to call it that. Not very original though."

"Well what do you think I should call it?" She questioned. Steven shrugged.

"I'll think about it. Something far cooler than 'Jackie's'. Want any help?" Jackie tossed him a bottle of Spray n' Starch. "Iron all of the pants in that box and hang them up on that rack." She pointed a manicured nail toward the left wall. He nodded then headed in the opposite direction toward the stereo. "Oh nuh uh!" She cried and grabbed his arm, digging in. "Captain and Tennile stays _on._ Don't you dare touch that stereo Steven!" He turned, not shaking her hand off his arm. She slid her hand down and gripped his forearm. "Let yourself enjoy their musical magic." He spluttered a laugh. "Their musical magic? That's such bull Jackie." She stuck her tongue out in reply. "Why aren't you ironing?" She asked, and pushed him toward the board, smiling to herself.

As they worked, Jackie watched him. It was funny to watch him handle the skirts, carefully even. He wiped everything down until it shone and hung everything in place. She even saw him tapping his foot to her music. Once, when both organising the same shelf, he moved her to the side by placing his hand on her hip. She felt it long after he had touched her and the smile on her face grew.

 **December 24th, 1981**

"What should I get Steven for Christmas?" Jackie asked Donna as she brushed her hair, pouting. "Jackie," Said Donna. "It's Christmas eve. There probably isn't anything you can actually get him in time." Jackie groaned and rolled over in bed, gripping the hairbrush.

"I need to find something today. I can't just _not_ get him something." She stood up and shook her hair out. "I'm going into town now. Wish me luck, lumberjack."

"Good luck." Donna laughed. "If you see Eric on his way back from work tell him to come home quick. The Christmas spirit has me excited." Jackie made a face.

"Eugh! Never say anything like that around me ever again."

"Ok Jackie. Like you never used blab to me about how Steven was a hunk of burning love!" Donna countered. "Only because Steven actually was. Eric is just a skinny sack of bones with a squeaky voice!" Donna scoffed.

"You'd be surprised by him." She countered. Jackie made the face again, scrunching up her nose. "I don't even want to think about that. Now, I'm gonna go before I throw up."

Town was snowy and cold. The wind whipped Jackie's cheeks and turned the tip of her nose red. Most shops were closed. Jackie thought it was a bit stupid actually. So many people needed last minute Christmas gifts, yet every store was closed. She wrapped her jacket tighter around her and shuddered as she walked. People passed her, heads down against the cold. She sniffed slightly, upset that she had left it so long and now she wouldn't have anything to give him. The ringing of a store door bell caught her ear, and she turned. Point Place Pet Shop. She giggled slightly at the very creative name, then walked in. The pet store had the heaters on full, and she felt her fingers and toes begin to defrost again. A woman smiled from the counter and Jackie smiled back as she walked through the store. Fish swam in their tanks, huge eyes watching her. "Are you looking for anything in particular? We just got a new shipment of bird cage accessories in." The woman said. Jackie shook her head.

"Just looking thanks." She replied, and began walking through the aisles. A mewing noise was floating from the back, and Jackie was drawn to it. She gasped slightly. The kittens were tiny, and they tumbled around each other, play fighting. Jackie reached into the square enclosure and picked one up, stroking its ears. It was fluffy and white, with dark markings around its eyes. The markings were almost in the shape of sunglasses. She laughed and kissed its nose. It meowed and buried its face in her hair, making rumbly purring noises in her ear. Jackie sighed and put the kitten back down. It was adorable and it actually _looked_ like Steven for God's sake, but she couldn't get Steven a kitten could she? That would just be ridiculous. The kitten looked up at her and tilted its head, dark and sunglassed eyes huge. "Ugh." She whispered. "I want to give you to Steven I think." The kitten started purring once more. Jackie squared her shoulders and walked to the counter. What would Steven think? Would he love the kitten? Would he give it back? Jackie realised she didn't care. She just couldn't wait to see his face when he saw his gift.


	11. Maybe, Maybe Chapter 11

**Author's Note - Sorry this took so long, my writers block was absolutely insane and I have had lots of school stuff to do, as well as a social life, haha! As soon as I started the New Year stuff though, I got inspired and literally could not stop writing. Please, please please review! You have no idea how much it makes my day. I'll try and keep my posting as regular as possible from now on. xoxoxo, that70sbaby**

 **December 25th, 1981**

"Because you've turned soft, I got you something to maybe keep you that way." Jackie giggled, handing Steven a box. He frowned at her. "I'm not sure I like the sound of that. I haven't gone soft." She raised her eyebrows.

"Open the box, Steven! Merry Christmas." He ripped the paper off and opened the box. Jackie giggled again, watching his face as he saw the empty bottom of the box. "I get it. Because nothing can keep me soft. Nice one doll."

"No I did get you something. It's in your old room, downstairs. And it has a softness guarantee!"

Jackie grabbed his wrist and pulled him down the stairs. "You really can be strong when you want to. Let go Jackie, ow!" She let his arm go, and he rubbed the nail marks that had blossomed. The bedroom door creaked open and the Steven-cat walked out from under the cot.

"He looks like you." Said Jackie softly as she picked him up tenderly. Steven stared at the kitten from behind his sunglasses. "A kitten? Seriously Jackie?" She nodded. The cat purred and rubbed its head against her fingers. "I call him Steven-cat. You could pick another name though." Steven rubbed his chin and frowned.

"I couldn't call the cat Steven. That would be like you naming a boutique 'Jackie's'. Oh wait." Jackie slapped him and pouted. "You're an ass Steven. You don't deserve a Christmas present."

Steven held out his hands for the kitten. It wriggled and fell into his open palms, then curled up and promptly began to purr. He held it to his chest and sighed. "A cat. Huh."

"Soft, even a little?"

"A little." Jackie laughed gleefully and clapped her hands. He sighed and turned away from her slightly. "I knew it! I knew you would love Steven-cat." A small smile played on his face, then flashed away. "It can _not_ be called Steven-cat. How about Captain?"

"Like Captain and Tennile? Oh, _Steven!"_ He scowled.

"Shut up." He spat. Jackie laughed like she never had before. Merry Christmas to her.

 **January 1st, 1979**

The fireworks were breathtaking. Steven wrapped his arm around Jackie's waist and she sighed into his shoulder. "Happy New Year doll." He whispered. She whispered it back and the leaned back onto the hood of the car. He used the hand that wasn't stroking her shoulder to grab her other hand. Steven squeezed gently and she squeezed back. "This will be a good year for us Steven. I just know it." Pinks and purples burst through the night, splashing their colours past the stars. "Jackie, I know I haven't said it enough. But I love you okay?" He said. Jackie could see the nervousness and sincerity in his eyes. "I love you too. I will _always._ And you don't need to say it all the time. It makes it even more special when you do." She picked up his sunglasses from the hood of the car and twirled them between her fingers. Laughs from their friends floated through the chilly air. "I love you." She repeated, staring into his eyes. Steven's smile at her was soft, like it so rarely was, and she relished in the warmth. He had moved his hand to her thigh, and he began to tickle the underside of her knee, which he knew was her most sensitive spot. She screeched and rolled off the hood of the car. "Steven! I'm all muddy and snowy now!" She whined, wiping the butt of her jeans. He just laughed, and put his glasses back on. The romantic, sweet moment had passed, but it had been special. The air was nippy and the ground was frozen solid, but the gang had drove to the reservoir to watch the fireworks. They were drunk and laughing, throwing snowballs lumped together from the soft dusting that covered the ground. Jackie had dragged Steven to sit on the hood of the El Camino, where they had listened for their friend's faint countdown and then shared their New Years kiss. Jackie looked at her Steven sometimes and felt like her heart was going to explode. Just from the pure joy she felt, no matter what was happening. She loved hearing him whisper in her ear at night, saying things that he would never say in front of their friends. Jackie relished in those things, the things reserved just for her. It was special to know that he loved her, when he loved so little else. Steven sometimes told her that she was the only thing keeping him sane, as well as driving him crazy. "Crazy in love?" She would ask, a joking tone playing in her voice.

"Crazy in love." He said back. It had become something they would say after a disagreement to clear the air. To reassure the both of them that things were okay, that no matter what, they were crazy in love with each other. More than anyone knew. Even when he did annoying stuff like tickle her.

He offered her a hand to pull her up and she accepted, huffing through her teeth. "You drive me crazy, Steven!"

"Crazy in love?" He asked. His arms reached around her and helped her wipe the dirt off her butt. She smacked his arm and laughed. "Crazy in love. Definitely crazy in love." Steven put his arms around her waist and she stood between his legs, swaying to the radio. She cupped his face with her hand and stroked his cheek with her thumb. "Steven?" She whispered.

"Yes doll?"

"You wanna be with me forever right?"

"A long time, for sure."

"Then kiss me." Jackie whispered, leaning in. The kiss was sweet and she never wanted it to end. The cold wasn't bothering her anymore. The radio host played Auld Lang Syne and the wind blew and their friend's cries radiated around the reservoir through the trees. Everything was perfect in the moment. Steven tasted like beer, and she was sure that she did too. His jacket smelled of him, and she pulled it tighter around her, then leaned in more, pushing Steven down. Steven pulled away. "Hold on Jackie, I've got something for you." He said. Jackie's face lit up. "A present, really Steven?" She cried, her voice carrying through the trees.

"Shush Jackie, keep your freakin' voice down." He whispered, laying a finger on her lips.

"What's the present Steven? Let me see!" He stuck his hand in the pocket of the jacket she was wearing and pulled out a tiny cloth bag with a drawstring made of pink ribbon. She heard a faint clinking sound and grabbed the bag from his hand in lightning speed. He grabbed it back from her and scowled. "Let me be all sappy and romantic for one second. Keep this in your mind because it won't be happening for a while. Now close your eyes and and hold out your arm, and stay quiet or I'll take the present right back!" Jackie did as she was told, a small grin on her face. She felt the chill of jewelry around her wrist. Steven grunted and she could feel him struggle to clasp it on. For a moment, her jostled her wrist around and groaned. "Hold on a second Jackie, I'm not very well practiced in this. Hah! Open your eyes now, I got it." Jackie gasped and felt tears flood to her eyes. On her small wrist was a delicate gold chain. Three tiny charms hung from it. She looked closer. A small heart with a green jewel sat between a gold 'S' and 'J'. Steven smiled at her. "So you know always, even when I don't say it all the time." Jackie nodded and wiped away her tears. "Is my mascara smudged?" She asked through her her soft sobs.

"I just did a big freakin' romantic gesture and you're worried about your makeup?" He asked.

Jackie just kissed him, and he didn't seem to care that her cheeks were wet. He just kissed her back until the sun came up and they were too cold to stay.

 **December 31st, 1981**

Jackie was surrounded by cardboard boxes. They towered over her, and left barely any space to get out of Steven's room. She still couldn't believe it. Red Forman had drove over to Graham's house and took all of her things back. Jackie wasn't sure what had actually happened but all she knew was that her bank account had all of her savings back so she could finally move into her own place and start up the boutique as her own. Red may have finally put his foot up somebody's ass, for the second time in his life. However he had done it, it didn't matter. All that mattered was the way the normally cold man had hugged her back when she burst into tears. She had just wept onto his chest and cried her thanks over and over again. For God knows how long, she had stood with him in the kitchen. He had been a real father to her, in so many more ways than her own had been. She had told him that. Red's cheeks had gone pink, not with anger for once, and he had muttered that she was a good kid. And now she was standing in the middle of all of her things that she had left with Graham. Perfect for her fresh 1982 start. She must be running out of fresh starts at this point. How many is one person allowed before they get stuck wherever they are? Jackie thought that she must be pretty close to filling up her quota, and she was only 20. "Shit!" She said to nobody in particular. She really had to get herself together this time. So she picked up a box and opened in with gusto. On top sat an old jewelry box. Jackie didn't remember bringing it to Graham's, but she opened it and sifted through the contents. Old friendship bracelets that she had forced Donna to make with her, necklaces with pony charms from her father. Those were his go to present, even now. A butterfly ring with on one wing caught on her fingertips and she moved it aside. A small chain caught her eye, and she pulled it out, untangling loose threads from it. It was a gold chain with tiny charms on it. She gasped. The little heart swung back and forth between her fingers, hitting the 'S' and the 'J' in turn. The irony was not past her. Just under three years ago, this small bracelet had meant the entire world to her. Jackie let it swing slightly then sighed and clasped it around her wrist. She tucked it under her sleeve and felt the gold warm on her skin. The jewelry box made a muffled click as it shut and she placed it carefully back in the cardboard box. Her hands shook slightly as she opened another box, then quickly shut it again. On top of the mound of clothes was a black Led Zeppelin t-shirt. What was the universe trying to do to her today? Hurt her? Slowly, she opened the box once more and took out the shirt. She quickly shelled off her sweater, listening to the jingle of the bracelet on her wrist, and put the t-shirt on, tucking it into her jeans. Her sweater felt too small over it, but she didn't mind much. Those things had meant so much to her then, and as much as she didn't want them too, they still did now.


	12. Maybe, Maybe Chapter 12

**AN - Late again, I'm sorry. Wrote this while babysitting. Kids are asleep and I am absolutely** **exhausted! Please review and read my other stories. A tip, actually listen to 'All I Know'. It's a beautiful song! xoxoxo, that70sbaby**

 **December 31st, 1981**

The clock ticked, each hand blurring as the day passed faster each minute. Jackie's limbs felt numb and lifeless, but at the same time energy was flowing through each nerve at the speed of light. She wanted to sleep until she died one minute, and the next, she felt like running until her lungs grew raw then gave out. The pure restlessness and fatigue that sat inside her made her shake a little bit. Everyone noticed how antsy she was being, but they all left it alone. Jackie felt like crying. She was just waiting for the year to be over. 1982 had much in store, a baby, a wedding, the opening of her boutique, whose name was still in the works. She could live by herself, start the clothes making course she had signed up for with Fez, hang out with Steven. The dark creature that scattered his dust in her veins was banished in 1982. It knew it, felt her growing sick of its presence and rallying her meagre forces to drive out for the last time. 10 minutes more, she thought. Then you, my friend, are gone. Her friends sat in Donna and Eric's living room, listening to music. Donna switched records out, her swollen stomach bumping the shelf. Jackie sat with Hyde on the couch, a solid space between them. Jackie felt him anyway, maybe just because of his scent on the shirt she still wore. Under her sleeve, she played with the charms, feeling the small heart warm by her fingertips. "What a year, gang." Eric mused, his hand driving a toy car over the back of the couch. "I'm gonna be a dad soon, and we'll be driving to Chicago in a few months for Brooke and Kelso's wedding. Who would have thunk?"

"I knew the bastard would do the right thing eventually." Hyde replied. Jackie nodded.

"Yeah," She said. "He really has become a completely new person."

"Glad you aren't marrying him though?"

"Yes. I'm glad."

Jackie inched slightly closer to the right of the couch. Steven's knee twitched to the left. Was he trying to touch her? God, this was teenager stuff, like that summer. Jesus Christ, Jackie needed to pull herself together. Wearing his shirt, and the bracelet from years ago? It was pathetic. Truly. Steven and Jackie were over, _very_ over, so why was she revisiting all of the happy times with him. Shouldn't she be thinking about that slut of a stripper wife, that nasty beard he had grown, the constant nagging at her? But now he was cleanly shaved, holding her when she cried, talking to her about anything that popped into her brain, saving her _life._ Her skin crawled again, and she rose from her seat. Her knees popped a little and she stretched her arms above her head, stretching. Jackie's sweater sleeve slipped down her skinny wrist, and there, for everyone to see, was the charm bracelet. Steven's eyes locked onto it, widening a little, the looking away. Her heart sank and she jerked her arms down, defending herself already. "Steven, it's not really what it looks like. Really, really not." She pleaded.

"What isn't what it looks like?" Asked Eric, a smug smile on his face. Jackie wanted to punch him, and he didn't even know what they were talking about.

"Nothing." Said Jackie and Steven, in perfect unison. He wouldn't look her in the eyes, twisting at an uncomfortable angle just to avoid her gaze. A knot grew in her throat. Fuck. Jackie was going to cry, but like _hell_ she was going to do it in front of her friends. Kitten heels smacking the hardwood floor, she hurried from the living room and through the kitchen, out the front door. The night was icy, and she was instantly goddamn freezing, but she found herself plunked on the hood of the El Camino, tears feeling like they were going to freeze on her cheeks. He was mad, maybe disgusted, that she was wearing the present from what felt like ten lives ago. He wanted to avoid her. He didn't want to be her friend now that he knew she was still feeling things, because Steven Hyde _never_ feels things, and that's just the way it works. She could just hear him telling her to lay off. The tears tasted salty as they tracked down her face into her mouth.

Her butt was freezing off on the cold metal hood, but she just sat, turning every so often to see the time on his car radio. The window was down, like typical devil may care Steven, so she reached in and tuned it to her favourite station. Art Garfunkel's 'All I Know' had just begun to play. Jackie rested her hands on each side of her knees and leaned forward, watching the teardrops make small dots on her light wash jeans. They had flowers embroidered on the pockets, which she had done herself a couple of days ago. Little roses flowed up and down the seams.

"I bruise you, you bruise me.

We both bruise too easily."

"Too easily, to let it show.

I love you, and that's all I know." She whispered along. Art's voice was rich, and though the faint wind dampened the noise, it still filled her up with a swell of something. It was barely tangible, not a concrete thing, but she welcomed the feeling. Jackie's tears had stopped. She sighed. It was 11:58. She was ringing in this new year alone, for the second time. What a bummer.

"I'm not mad." A gruff voice said from behind her. The hood lowered as Steven sat beside her, their thighs touching. "I had just forgotten about it is all. Got a scare, man."

Jackie's eyes threatened to fill again. "You had forgotten?" He nodded, and grabbed her wrist, his fingers easily encircling it. "Steven loves Jackie, huh. I can't how sappy I was."

"I thought it was sweet. And I found it in my stuff earlier. I'm not sure why I put it on, I just wanted to. It is one of the only things that I own that actually feels special to me. Things don't really have as much appeal as they used to, if you know what I mean."

"I know. Wear it if you want."

"You don't care?" Jackie asked, her face heating.

"No man. It's still true. What the bracelet says, I mean."

In the moment of silence following his words, Jackie took in the hugeness of what he had just said. His eyes caught on fire and he backpedalled. "In a different way obviously. I love you like a friend."

"I love you like a friend too Steven." Jackie felt muddled by the words, but she was taking what she could get, and love like a friend seemed good. More than good. It seemed like what she wanted, at least for now.

So Jackie and Hyde rang in the new year together again, thighs brushing. Art Garfunkel sang of love, not the friend kind, but Jackie listened anyway, and inhaled the deep sweet scent that now clung to her hair and sweater. It made her think of feeling safe and happy. For now, that was enough.


	13. Maybe, Maybe Chapter 13

**AN - A shortish one, but I do like it. I'm really into sewing so I had a little fun with this. I hope the jargon isn't too hard to pick up on! As always, please review and read my other stories. I just added another chapter to my 'passing notes' story! xoxoxo, that70sbaby**

 **January 6th, 1982**

Jackie sat at her small dining room table in her new apartment. A large Singer sewing machine perched on the edge, bulb flickering. She flipped through the manual, and groaned as she threw it to the ground.

"Why is this so hard?" She cried, stamping her foot. Her toes hit the pedal and the machine whirred to life, threads forming a knot when the needle found no fabric. She let out a scream of rage and pushed her chair from the table, stomping into the living room.

"I can't do it Fez!"

"Can't do what?" Her friend asked, head peeking from a playboy magazine.

"I can't get the machine to work!" Jackie whined. All she wanted was to fix her skirt. Paying for a tailor was not an option right now with her lack of income, so she had dug out her mother's old machine. The machine had taken an hour to thread, accompanied with many groans and a call to Fez. And now, after all that work, she couldn't get the damn fabric in!

Fez placed his hands on his knees and stood up slowly, then walked to the machine. He barely glanced at it before turning back to Jackie.

"Of course you can't get the fabric in. The foot is down. This is basic stuff Jackie!" She huffed at him and flounced to the machine. As she sat back on her seat, he flicked a switch at the back of the machine and slid the hem of her skirt in easily. "There you go." He laughed.

"How am I supposed to know how to use a sewing machine? I wasn't poor as a child!"

"You did Home Ec for four years!" Fez cried, throwing his hands in the air.

"I paid Sally Stetson to do my fabric work! Like I said, I wasn't poor." Jackie countered.

She straightened the skirt beneath the foot and lightly pressed on the pedal. The machine growled and began to move her skirt along slowly. Jackie cackled with delight. "It's working Fez! It's really working, oh my God!"

"I'm proud." He deadpanned, face blank. Jackie rolled her eyes at him.

"You should be Fez, I'm a regular poor girl now. Look at me go!" The needle reached her pin and she backstitched for a centimeter, then used the newly discovered switch to lift the foot and pulled out the skirt. The hem was slightly buckled, but the skirt almost looked new again.

She held it to her hips and stood up, swinging them from side to side. A gleeful giggle escaped her mouth. Jackie had sewn! She had done it all by herself too, well basically by herself.

"Didn't you say you brought wine?" She asked Fez as she hung up the skirt. He nodded, and they headed to the kitchen.

That evening, Jackie and Fez talked and drunk until the wee hours. Visions of dresses and skirts danced through Jackie's head. Clothes that she had always imagined wearing, but that she had never found in a store, anywhere. And Jackie had been to _plenty_ stores in her time. All she needed was some money, to buy fabric, and maybe a pattern book. The wine was helping her get a bit ahead of herself, but as she pictured herself in a flowing red skirt, with lace around the hem, she knew she wanted to get better at this sewing thing.

 **January 24th, 1982**

'Jackie's' sat on Pike Street, a relatively busy street known for fashion, or what Point Place called fashion at least. The outside was brick, painted white, with two large window displays on each side of the dark red door. Jackie had sat the mannequins on stools, which had been a battle and a half. Screws and limbs had been scattered across the store floor, creating almost a macabre scene of destruction. Jackie had slaved all night, dressing them up in combinations that she liked. The opening of the new and improved boutique was growing interest from the population. Jackie had used money found in couches to print out lilac flyers which she had pasted around town. Her shop phone had been ringing off the hook. LOPP's asked what designers she carried, local dressmakers offered her their clothes to sell.

She had started knitting as she watched TV, a sweater for herself, baby clothes for the impending arrival of the newest Forman. All of her denim had at least one flower or star embroidered somewhere on it, showing the hard work of one saturday spent away from the store.

Jackie was also growing more confident with her sewing machine. She could thread it within a minute now, and she had also become dearly acquainted with the switch that lifted the foot. She hadn't seen much of Steven since the New Year had begun, but Fez often came to her house to help her sew when she didn't know what her next step was. Donna would often loll on her couch, rubbing her stomach and cursing Eric for "putting this kicky bowling ball" inside her. Jackie could feel herself thriving.

The mailman knocked on the boutique's door. He held a large, squishy package in his hands. "For Jackie Burkhart?" He asked. He was young, with long curly hair, and as she stepped from behind the door, a blush rose on his cheeks.

"That's me!" Jackie replied, looking at him from beneath her eyelashes. "Where do I sign?"

His blush deepened. "Uh, just there on that line."

Jackie took the paper and package. She signed with a flourish, and then after a moment's hesitation, she wrote her phone number down beneath it. "There you go," She squinted to read his name tag where the sun caught it. "Gage."

"Thanks." He muttered, bowing his head. She watched him as he walked toward his bike, and only closed the door once he had read the paper and smiled back at her. Her heart fluttered a little bit. This Gage boy may just be the release she needed right now.

Jackie walked behind the counter and ripped open the package with her flowery scissors. Inside sat yards of soft red fabric, and peeking from beneath it, a section of lace. Jackie gasped with happiness. It was perfect for the skirt she wanted to make. A small piece of white paper was wedged between the folds. "From Steven." It read. Jackie smiled a little, then frowned. How did he know about her ideas? She had only told Fez. Something was a little fishy, but how Steven had known wasn't important. Jackie was just itching to get him to her Singer and her fabric scissors. She had made the pattern about a week ago, and then stitched together a toile using old clothes that she didn't wear anymore. The fabric was smooth beneath her fingers, and she smiled as she imagined it swinging around her legs.

Another knock to the door brought her out of her skirt daydream, and she rushed to open it, but her heart dropped when she saw who stood on the stoop. "Vanessa?" She asked, pulse quickening. "What are you doing here?"

"I was about to ask you the same thing Jackie." Vanessa pushed past Jackie and walked into the store, tipping over a vase of fake flowers that Jackie had taken from her parents house. The glass shattered and the shards danced across the floor.

"Guess you thought this place was yours, didn't you? You guessed wrong Burkhart!"


	14. Maybe, Maybe Chapter 14

**A/N - Agh, sorry! I know that it's been literally forever since I posted. I've been busy, and sick, and injured. This chapter is short and not that great, and for that I apologise but I really needed to post. I'll try and get back in my groove as soon as possible, but I just needed a break. As always, please read and review this story and my others. Thank you! xoxoxox, that70sbaby**

 **January 24th, 1982**

Vanessa's face was contorted into a snarl. "Guess you thought this place was yours, didn't you? You guessed wrong Burkhart!" She growled, pointing a sharpened nail into Jackie's shoulder. Jackie stepped back, glass crunching beneath her heeled boots.

"You've been gone for months! Not even a note, so I figured you just split. Can't blame me."

"You quit!"

"I'm paying rent for the place, which you hadn't been doing. I've ordered in different stuff. I've worked really hard! You can't just waltz in after months and months and expect that it's all how you left it, which was pretty bad to be honest." Jackie's mouth was running away from her and she felt her younger self make its way into her tone, which seemed to be too much for Vanessa to put up with. Jackie's face stung instantly as Vanessa's hand made contact, the slapping noise ringing through the store.

A wash of anger rolled through Jackie and she found herself ready to hit back, hands curling into fists. Vanessa was tall, but she was skinnier than a bean pole and for a moment Jackie was ready to knock her down, but then she thought about the last time she had really beaten somebody up. Laurie Forman. Steven's words ran through her head and she forced herself to become zen.

"Leave." She said calmly, walking over and opening the door for her. "This place is mine now, I'm paying the rent."

Vanessa's mouth dropped open. "You don't want to hit me back? You're a weak little dink, honestly. I can't wait to see how this place goes, what with your terrible fashion sense and all."

"Whatever." Jackie replied, zen on full. She kept a straight face thankfully, and she thrilled from Vanessa's reaction.

Vanessa turned on her hell and stalked out of 'Jackie's', huffing. Jackie smiled slightly. Vanessa had given up far too easily, and it seemed as if she had only wanted the drama of it. If she had really cared about the boutique, she wouldn't have left it alone for months on end.

Jackie swept the glass up slowly as she thought about her grand opening in two days. It would be perfect, all of it. And, if she could find the time, she would be wearing a new red skirt, never seen before.

 **January 26th, 1982**

 _2:16 AM, Jackie's apartment_

The whirring noise of the sewing machine still sounded in Jackie's ears after she switched it off. She pulled the wash of red fabric from beneath the needle foot and pulled it inside out, so the new seams were hidden. Jackie let out a gleeful laugh and pulled her jeans off, tripping slightly as they caught on her heels. The skirt was smooth and silky on her legs and she ran to her mirror, tired eyes lit up as they took in her creation. The skirt was stunning against her skin and she envisioned herself pairing it with her tight black blouse. Another giggle burbled from between her lips and as she spun she realised exactly how exhausted she was. Jackie had found that sleep was a rare commodity when preparing for a store opening. Every time she closed her eyes, all she saw was store displays and ironing boards, and then when she opened them, the room would blurr with fatigue.

Jackie spun once more and then stumbled to her bed, still dressed in her red skirt.

 _8:37 AM, driving down Pike Street_

Jackie rubbed sleep from her eyes and tapped a tune out on her steering wheel. The boutique opened at 10. People would start arriving 15 minutes before, lining up outside the door. She was ready, ready as she could be, and excitement was starting to beat the nervousness in her stomach. All of her friends had promised to be there right and early. They were proud of her, each one had told her that themselves.

Donna had slapped her on the back and smiled, saying that even though it was still girly, owning a business was hard. She told Jackie that she would run it well. Jackie had smiled and leaned on her friend's shoulder.

Eric had given her a hug, his lanky arms stronger than she had thought. "You did good, She-Devil." Jackie had laughed.

"Thank you for that, Eric. I think…"

Kelso and Brooke had called, both of them talking over each other. Jackie could hear Betsy playing in the background, calling out to her parents. The conversation had been warm. They were driving from Chicago later today to see her and the store.

Fez had walked around the store, stroking the clothes as he passed the racks. "Good one Jackie. Such beautiful clothes."

"You had better not bring the boys here when you get drunk! I know that you guys end up in dresses sometimes.

Mr. and Mrs. Forman had called he after getting the invitation. Kitty had sobbed into the phone, incomprehensible words blurring through the telephone lines. Something "Proud of you," followed by a "Lovely girl" and something about babies. Red had muttered how happy he was for her, and she had thanked him for getting her back on her feet. He had only grunted back, but she had heard in his voice how proud he was. That was all that mattered.

Hyde had hugged her, voluntarily, without her initiating it. She had blushed and hugged him back, thriving from the familiarity of it. "You did well Doll. I'm proud of you." Jackie didn't reply, just linked her hands together and hugged him tighter.

As she pulled down the alley to her park, she sighed and felt a grin play on her lips. Look at her go, look at Jackie go.


	15. Maybe, Maybe Chapter 15

**Author's Note: Agh! I'm so sorry! I know it's been months and months since my last post. I"m going to explain a little so if you don't really care just skip down. I completely ran out of inspiration for this story. I felt like I had written myself into a hole and it was just super frustrating. I still feel like that a little but I had a sudden rush of inspiration at the most amazing time for it! Exam time! I'm am procrastinating like a boss. Another reason why I stopped writing is because my chronic back problems were kinda kicking me in the butt for a while. I'm doing better now though, which feels good. So yeah, I'm very sorry for the lack of writing and I don't know how much I can promise in regard to new chapters but I will do my best. Thank you for continuing to read! xoxoxox, that70sbaby**

 **May 26th, 1984**

A muffled knock sounded from the front room. With Betsy on her hip, Jackie made her way to the door and opened it. Eric and Donna stood on the steps, with Charlie on Donna's hip, mirroring Jackie. "Hey guys!" Jackie said, stepping aside to welcome them in. Hugs were exchanged and kisses on children's cheeks were given. As Jackie ushered the family down the hallway to the living room, Donna stopped in her tracks. "Wow." She sighed under her breath, as she looked at that beautiful wedding photo. "Yeah." Jackie murmured.

"You never get used to it."

 **January 26th, 1982**

 _10 AM_

Jackie wiped the tears of panic from her face and fanned herself. "You can do it Jackie. Go on, open the door." The sidewalk was full of people. She could see from the slit in the door of the back room, where she had sat for the last hour, sobbing in panic. She knew she was prepared, the store was beautiful. She was playing soft music, and she had been burning vanilla candles for weeks, until the whole store had the sugary smell of a bakery. It reminded her of Steven. Jackie knew that all she had to do was stand up, walk over and open the door, but her feet seemed glued to the hardwood floor. "Argh!" She growled and forced herself up, quickly checking her makeup in the mirror. "What in God's name was that noise, Burkhart?" She heard someone say. Whipping around, she saw Hyde locking the back door behind him. "Steven?"

"You really do need some better security in this place. This is the second time I've broken in without you noticing"

"You're probably right. This place is a mess." Jackie wailed, promptly starting to cry again.

"Jackie stop it. The place is great, but isn't it meant to be open by now?" Jackie nodded.

"I just got scared."

"Well get over it sunshine, the fans are waiting." Hyde replied. He drew her in for a hug and smoothed down her hair. "I'm proud of you Jacks, but I do have one complaint. This place smells like a fairy fart."

Jackie laughed and pinched his cheek. "It smells like you actually."

"Wha-" She laughed again and sashayed out into the store. Steven's face showed pure bewilderment.

"Sorry Mr. Fairy Fart, but I have a store to open!"

 _11:05 AM_

Jackie watched from behind the counter as people perused the racks. Most people had come and gone in a rush of pink tissue paper that she wrapped the clothes in. A few people remained, trying on items behind the thick lilac curtains she had hung up. Jackie hummed to her music, tapping her high heeled toes. Her new skirt swayed and she smiled. She had done it and was doing it. The dream she had had since she was a little girl, her own clothing store, had finally come true. A flutter or pride went up and down her body. She looked around at the colourful store and breathed in the vanilla scent. It was a nice feeling, that was for sure.

 **October 31st, 1976**

It was Halloween, and Hyde was watching Jackie. She had noticed it all night, in moments when he didn't think she could see and times when she obviously could. Now she demanded his attention. "What on God's green earth is so interesting about me tonight Steven?" She snapped. Jackie sat on the deep freeze, a beer in hand. Her butt was freezing cold from the chill permeating through the tight pleather of her cat costume, but she didn't care. She was _not_ sitting on the couch right now, Michael was being more of an ass than normal. He kept on asking her to do it with him and she was running out of excuses as to why not. Why could he not just take no for an answer? Ugh, what a night. Halloween in Eric's basement, lame of course. Her boyfriend was testing her nerves, what was new? And Steven was staring. "Huh?" She said, snapping him to attention.

"What's that Jackie?"

"Why are you staring?" She asked again, boring her eyes into him. He sputtered out a laugh,

"That's bull, I'm not staring!" She rolled her eyes.

"Okayyyyyyyy." Jackie muttered, drawing the word out like taffy. Hyde scoffed and turned his chair around to face her, resting his elbows on his blue-jeaned knees. No costume of course, what a party pooper.

"Why would I be staring Burkhart? I'd prefer to _not_ go blind."

Jackie preened. "Maybe because I look especially cute tonight, all dressed up as a cat?"

"Do not!"

"Yes I do, and I'll have you admit that by the end of the night Steven, just you wait and see!" Steven just scowled and turned his chair back around to the TV, where The Texas Chainsaw Massacre was playing. A blonde girl screamed on screen and Jackie wrinkled her nose. That outfit was all wrong, and there was no way she was still alive. The pretty girls were always the ones who die first.

"Should we go Trick or Treating now?" Eric asked. He looked painfully gawky and skinny in his superhero costume, mask and all.

"Thank God!" Jackie exclaimed, "There's only so much crap I can watch in one sitting."

Donna snorted. "Jackie, I've seen you watch the same Brady Bunch re-run five individual times!"

"The Brady Bunch aren't crap! They're wholesome family entertainment!"

The whole gang groaned.

"Let's just go," Steven grumped, "Maybe she'll shut up."

 _20 minutes later_

"I can't believe I'm letting you do this." Hyde said.

"Shut up Steven, or it'll smudge!" Jackie exclaimed. She used a tiny sponge to blend white face paint onto Steven's face. It was getting all streaky in his beard. How the hell did he have a beard already?

"Because I'm a man." Steven grinned.

"I said that aloud?" Jackie cried. He nodded, and she slapped his shoulder. "Stop moving I said, and shut up! If you don't I'll never finish and we won't be able to go out tonight."

"Heaven forbid I'm not a vampire!" He scoffed.

"Exactly."

Jackie is silent for a while, and to her surprise Steven is too. He sits perfectly still, even when she brushes a dark colour on his eyelids. He even tilts his face to her touch when she dabs fake blood onto his lips. They're surprisingly soft. Jackie keeps her touch feather light and she listens to his breath, which is shallow and quick. It brings a tiny smirk to her face. He does think I look nice tonight, she thought, and laughed a little. "What?" He asked, opening his eyes.

"Oh, it's just that you really do look quite scary Steven. You'd be surprised." She picked up a hand mirror and showed him. He grinned.

"Yeah, it does look pretty cool." He bared his teeth in the mirror and did an awful Dracula impression. "I vant to suck your bloooood!"

Jackie snorted. "You come off all cool at first Steven, but you're actually a dork"

"I'm cool, you say?"

"You knew what I meant." Jackie said, slapping him again. "Don't make me tell Kelso you just said that you look cool with makeup."

Steven's face went serious. "Are you even talking to Kelso? He said you're not putting out and it makes you crabby." Jackie sniffed in disdain.

"More like it makes him crabby. But I just don't feel like it really."

"You know you don't have to-" Hyde started.

" I don't wanna talk about it Steven. Let's go." Hyde sighed and got up off the edge of the Forman's bath, which had doubled as a salon chair. Maybe Jackie did want to talk about it, maybe it was making her worry that Michael was only with her for her body, but there was no way she was admitting any of it to Steven. He would be gleeful. He would probably tell her to dump him, anything to get her out of the basement really. Freakin' Steven. Everyone else was coming around to her finally, but Steven just seemed to hate her. Except for tonight. Hmmm.

 _Later that night_

The gang walked down the sidewalk of Witcham Street, weaving through masked children and their parents. To the people around them it was an odd sight, with a superhero who looked far from super, a boy with curly hair and plain clothes, the only sign of costume an odd pallor of his skin and dribbles of blood down his chin. Tottering behind the vampire, a tiny girl dressed as a cat, with some of the highest black stilettos on her feet. She batted off the grasp of a boy dressed as Rocky, who whined everytime she forced him away. Skipping in front was a boy with a large sack of candy. He was dressed in various shades of craft store velvet that made his identity vague. Whenever asked, he would cry, "I'm Winky Wonka!" This would get a laugh and look of bewilderment from most. Stalking at the back of the pack was a red-headed girl dressed in a gold flapper outfit. She rubbed the goosebumps from her arms. "Freakin' October!" They were a motley crew, doing nothing but argue from what any passerby would hear.

"My feet are killing me!" Jackie whined, stumbling a little over a crack in the sidewalk. They had been walking for what felt like hours, and watching everyone else eat candy was hard. Jackie was on a strictly no sugar diet. It killed her to watch Fez cram 3 Musketeers bars into his mouth and moan. "Sweet, sweet sugar! I do love Halloween."

"You shouldn't have worn those dumb shoes then!" Donna called, rubbing her arms some more. "Eric, bring those skinny arms back here. I'm freezing!"

"Well you should have worn a jacket!" Jackie retorted. Donna scowled at her.

"I wanted to, midget, but you screamed at me until I left it at Eric's because it would 'ruin my outfit.'"

"Whatever Donna, I'm stopping here for a while. I can't walk any more in these shoes."

She plonked herself down on a park bench and watched her friends whirl around. With a moment they were all yelling at her, even Michael, about how lazy she was. "Y'all go on without me," She said indifferently, "But I need a break. I'll meet you back at the Forman's."

She watched as they all nodded and started along Witcham again, until Steven turned around once more.

"I'll wait with you." He offered.

"You will?" Jackie said incredulously.

"He will?" The gang asked in unison.

"Sure," He said. "It's not safe for her to be out alone." Steven came and sat right next to her on the bench, his thigh brushing hers for a split second.

"It's Halloween though, everyone's out here." Eric pointed out.

"Still." Steven replied, and that was that.

 _To be continued…._


End file.
